Sacrifice

I have heard sacrifice defined as: 

Giving up something you want now for something better later on.

That sounds easier than it is.


It involves faith.

That my prayers are really being answered.


It involves hope.

That what comes next will really be better.


It involves charity.

The fact that I love God more than myself; so I will take what He wants for me instead of what I want.

Finished

Well, I made it through my blog marathon.  I posted for 26 days in a row.

And although I have only run a half-marathon, I think I experienced some of the same emotions during this writing period.

I started off feeling great about this goal that I had set for myself.  And it really didn't seem that hard.

As time went on, I started to realize how long this was really going to be and that it was going to take a lot of effort to do it.  But, I still believed as long as I just worked hard I would be ok.

But, then I got to a point where I just didn't know what to write about at all.  It was like hitting a wall.  And I couldn't have made it without having someone actually help me along (using my husband's speech).

It was then that I finally was able to see the end of the tunnel.  I realized that I could make it the last little bit.  And in some ways it almost got easy again.

English was never my favorite subject in school and I have never considered myself a writer.    But, as I looked back on my month's work, I realized that maybe I was.


I think this probably always happens when I am trying to make changes in my life or set goals for myself.  I get kind of excited at the beginning and have a lot of motivation to make it happen.

Then, once I'm in the middle of it I start to realize how much work it is really going to take.  This is where I have to decide to either give up or push through it.

And there is always the point when l realize that I just cannot do it on my own.  I need help.  This is when I have to turn it completely over to the Lord.

Finally, I realize that I am almost finished and at this point it has become so much a part of me that it's almost easy.  And I have added a new level to my life, to my faith.

But, the thing is, I am never really finished.  

There will always be things that I need and want to improve.  Attributes of Christ that I need to make more a part of me.

Realizing that there will be hard times and I'll need help and that it will eventually just become a part of me, will help me make it through.

Domination

I have a little problem.

I think I might be a little competitive.

I went on a library murder mystery date last night.

Our team (me and my husband) were given tasks to look data up in the library. As we did them we would get clues to help us solve the murder. 

Think Clue. 

Tasks like: translate these foreign words; find the book written by the author who wrote the "prairie trilogy"; where are these cities located, etc.

It was a lot of fun.

But, before we even got started, I was sizing up the competition.

I figured out who might be real competitors and who we could ignore.

I told my husband, that we didn't need to rush through, we could just enjoy our time together.

He was not the one with the problem.

I couldn't help myself; trying to get done before anyone else.

And we were.

And we won.

We easily had it solved before anyone.

It was kind of embarrassing.

I felt bad that I smashed all the other teams.

I'm sure that if someone had beat us I would have just shrugged it off and figured it was just some nice quality time together.

But we dominated and it felt good.


So why do I feel so guilty about it?

Reality

What got done yesterday:

Made 4 batches of sugar cookie dough and 2 batches of frosting.

Created a dozen valentine cards with scrapbook paper, glue and glitter.

Cut out the cookies, frosted them, and put them onto plates to deliver to friends and neighbors.

Delivered around 7 plates of cookies.

What didn't get done yesterday:

Any dishes.

Any laundry.

Any cleaning.

Any type of valentine for my man.

Hardly any school work.

Making dinner (we had pizza).


I thought it was a great day!

Define Yourself

How do I define myself?

I've been thinking about this question.

I came up with a lot of different ways that I can define myself.

And it seems that the way I define myself determines my priorities.

I also wonder (probably too much) how other people would define me when they look at my life.

Then, more importantly, I thought "how does God define me?"

He defines me in only one way: I am His child.


What does that mean?

What is the role of a child and what priorities should I have being defined as such?


I don't expect my children to be anyone but who they are.

I love them.  

I want the best for them.  

I want them to learn what they need to so they can be successful adults.

And although I expect them to be obedient, I don't stop loving them when they are not.


That is all that God expects of me.  

To love Him and be obedient.  

And He will always love me and want the best for me.  

Gospel Study in Our Home

I love getting ideas and details about how others study the gospel in their home.  There seems to be so many different choices in how to do it and its easy to get overwhelmed.  But I believe any good thing is good, and it's up to us to decide what works best in our own family.

Our gospel study has come along very slowly.  When my kids were very little, we used the Gospel Art Instruction kit.  We would look at a picture and learn the story.  We probably did this about once a week.  Then I would hang the picture up so we could be reminded about what we learned.

I also included "Read Scriptures" as one of our morning chores to be done before breakfast. The kids who couldn't read yet would bring me their book and I would have them repeat after me one scripture.  Once they could read on their own, they would choose how much to read.  (Although I tried to encourage them to not just open it up and read one verse of wherever they turned.)  I would suggest a column or a page or even a chapter, depending on their age.

I realized that they may not really be getting anything out of their reading but at least I hoped they were developing the habit.

My two oldest are now in seminary at school studying the New Testament.  They wake up on their own each morning at 6:00am and get ready and then read their scriptures.  They also use this time for working on their Personal Progress.

We have family scripture study at 7:00am.  We choose to sit around the kitchen table so people are less likely to lay down and read with their eyes closed. We have tried doing this at night, but it was much harder to get everyone together and quiet.  And even at this time, when my husband is sometimes already gone to work, we just do it without him. I think every family is different; the important thing for us is just consistency. (As a motivation to come to scripture study, if my kids miss it, they have to read whatever they missed, out loud to me before breakfast.)

We mostly just read the Book of Mormon about a chapter at a time.  We take turns reading around 3-4 verses out loud (depending on the length of the chapter).

We have tried reading other scriptures as a family, but we really need the blessings that are promised to us in this quote:

You will have the spirit of peace in your home I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase, mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to that counsel. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity -- the pure love of Christ -- will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.

Marion G. Romney,
Conference Report, April 1960, p.112 - p.113

And we definitely notice a difference when we read something other than the Book of Mormon.

We did take a few weeks recently, the last time we finished the Book of Mormon, to study Chapter 5 from Preach My Gospel.  I loved doing this because I actually felt like we were having discussions rather than just reading like usual.  In fact, sometimes I feel bad that we don't have more discussions, but I think it's kind of like going to church with young kids, it's not always about how much you're going to get out of it, but rather just developing the habit for later on.

Another thing we do is memorize scriptures.  I found this Charlotte Mason program to help memorize scriptures.  Mostly we work on the scriptures from seminary, but I add others in as needed.  We repeat our scriptures for the day before morning and evening family prayers.

For the current younger kids personal scripture study, I printed out these scripture prompts from the Book of Mormon reader.  We read the section in the reader and then talk about the question.  My 5 year old enjoys drawing pictures that go along with it.  But my 9 and 11 year old write their answers in a special scripture journal and then mark their regular scriptures as well.

For the kids still in primary, they can choose between this, or working in their Faith in God book.  (Although, my 11 year old has decided to read the Doctrine Covenants on his own.)  My 12 year old son works on his Duty to God during this time.  This is something I love about homeschooling, I don't feel like I have to rush past this to get them out the door.  We just have a set time where they work on it.

One thing that I have enjoyed doing in the past is our Sunday night conference talk.  Each child takes a turn choosing a talk from the most recent General Conference.  We either read it together or watch it on the computer.  This is actually a great time for discussion of principles.  And the kids are more invested in it when they are the one that picked it.

We also have Family Home Evening every Monday night.  Lately, these have mostly been about spending time together as a family.  Every once in a while, my husband or I will feel prompted that something in particular needs to be taught, but for the most part we just try and do something that will help unite us as a family.

I wish I could say that all of this happens every day perfectly.  It doesn't.  It's definitely a work in progress. And I'm sure that as our family changes and the world changes we'll have to adapt accordingly. 

What doesn't change is the Gospel. 

And my hope as a mother is to help my children learn it and love it as I do.

Arts & Economic Development

Because it's getting harder each day to think of something to write . . .

. . . and because I'm trying to spend more time making helping my kids get their schoolwork done . . .

. . . and because my husband is awesome . . .

I'm posting his talk to the Eastern Idaho Arts Council about the relationship between Art and Economic Development.

Thank you all for being here today. And special thanks to Dan and Kara for all the hard work they’ve put into today’s events. I’m here because I’m the Economic Development Director for Fremont County, and I’ve been asked to speak today on Art and Economic Development.

We know, from what we’ve seen in other places that art can be a good strategy for economic development. Some of the things that have worked are; murals, art in vacant storefronts, providing marketing help or business advice to local artists, and community arts events like gallery strolls, art walks, and rambles.

These things work for a variety of reasons, but they are good economic development tools because:

• They are home-grown successes. They aren’t some cookie-cutter idea that an agency pulled off of the shelf and tried to force on a community. They are local ideas, our ideas – thought up right here in our community. They work because they fit.
• They fit because they start small and then grow up until they are the right size for our community and its needs.
• They also work because one of the amazing, if not magical, things about art is that art nurtures art. Investing time, effort and money into the arts not only provides enjoyment, expression and (hopefully) livelihood to some of our community, it also inspires new artists.

I want to talk some more about that last point, the nurturing power of art, but I’m done talking about economic development. Because, really, economic development is too narrow a subject. If we’re supporting art in order to expand our tax base, then we are working in the service of very small gods indeed.

I want to talk about art and community building. That is, I want to talk about the role and worth of art, and a community of artists, in a healthy and vibrant community.

Now, lots of people over the years have talked about the value of art as public expression or because of the diversity it fosters. I don’t need to re-say what any of those people have said. Also, Dan and Kara are going to talk about art and community in a minute, and I don’t want to take away from anything that they will say. So I’m going to limit my comments on the worth of art to two brief points.

First, any community with a healthy arts scene is strengthened by the way artists work. That is, artists make their living by reaching out to others and building connections. If you have art in your community, you have people who are actively building ties and strengthening the community. In a modern economy that often replaces personal, local relationships with bandwidth and global contacts, you need as many people as possible to be getting together and talking about stuff right here at home.

Second, let’s go back to that idea that one of the things that makes art powerful is that art nurtures art. It happens that, because of the way we human creatures are wired, before there can be art, there must be artistic thoughts. This is the particular value of art that I really want to emphasize today.

Art nurtures art by fostering, inspiring, enticing the sort of thoughts that lead to more art. That thinking, that spark of creativity, adds value to the quality of life of the whole community, even if, in a given instance, it doesn’t lead all the way to the creation of an actual piece of art.

That spur to creative thinking is capable of adding more – of everything really – to those communities that enjoy it. More art, of course, but also more ideas all around. More active citizens, richer democracy, more friends made, more problems solved and better solutions to those problems, too.

That’s why we need art. We think better when art is part of our lives. When we think better, we are better people. And better people make better communities. So I wasn’t kidding when I said that economic development is too small a reason to make or support art. In fact, if I had any advice about art and economic development, it would be to just do art and let the economy ride on its coattails.

Thank you.

My Older Brother

Do you know what makes me happy?

The fact that my brother reads my blog.

Even if he does make fun of me sometimes and posts snarky comments.

I have always wanted to be just like him.

When I served a mission in California, I had a chance to work with the Laotion people for a short time.

We were visiting this one family and the husband kept looking at my name tag that said, "Sister Banks".

They had been baptized a while ago, but hadn't been to church for a long time.

I asked where they were baptized and they told me Seattle, WA. 

Well, that just happened to be where my brother served his mission 9 years earlier.

I asked what missionaries taught them and the husband said, "Elder Banks".

I couldn't believe it! 

My brother had taught this family the gospel and helped them be baptized.  (He also translated in the hospital when their youngest daughter was born.  I think they even said that he helped name her.)

Now here I was, helping this family, just like my brother had done.

It was as if I was being given the chance to help my brother finish what he had started.

I felt so close to my brother and so much joy.


I have another "Older Brother" who I want to be like more than anything .

And I have the chance to help Him in the work that He has already started.

If I want to feel close to Him then I need to serve those He loves.

And if it brought me so much joy to help my older brother, it's hard to imagine the joy that will come when I do His work.

Being Rooted (for)

When I was a kid, every Monday night when we would gather as a family, one of us would have the job to tell a story about one of our ancestors.

We had a drawer full of personal histories to choose from.

There were several stories that got repeated over and over again and became our favorite. And even though we had never met these ancestors we felt like we knew them through these stories.

When we got older, our parents compiled a notebook with these stories, and a few others from our pioneer history, and gave them to each of us to use in our Family Home Evening.

We love doing this in my family and now my kids have their own favorite stories that they share over and over again.

My parents have continued to put together histories of different ancestors and give us copies through the years.

A few years before my Grandpa died, my Dad put together his Dad's personal history in a book format.  It was a huge work of love and he had it published. 

It was so fun to learn new things about my grandpa and I felt so much closer to him.

Having caught the "book publishing" bug, my Dad decided he wanted to put together all of our old family history stories into a book format. 

He and my Mom gathered all of the old stories we used as children and found some new ones.  They even put stories from our own family growing up.

Each of my children just got their own copy as well as a copy of their great-grandfather's book!


For Christmas one year my father-in-law gave us a journal from his side of the family. As I was reading through some of his family's history, I thought that some of the stories sounded very familiar.

I wondered if our ancestors knew each other.

Then sometime around our second or third year of marriage my husband and I were taking a family history class and we came across a line that didn't branch like the others.  We realized that we shared a common ancestor.  (I believe it is our 5th great-grandparents.  Which, I think means we are 5th cousins.)

One of the histories that my mom put together actually included stories of this common ancestor. 

I was so thankful that I had been given information about these ancestors so that I felt like I knew them.

In fact, I had this vision of them in heaven; my ancestors and my husbands, looking down on us and celebrating that their descendants had gotten together. It seemed as if all of their work/history was being combined into our family. 

What a powerful thing to feel that we have our own (not so) little cheering section up in heaven rooting for us to honor their name and continue the work that they started here.

Go, Fight, Win!

I am in the midst of a battle.

It seems like every time I try and be a little bit better I end up taking 3 steps back.

It's as if Satan is fighting me hard to not make any good changes in my life.

And these aren't big changes.

These are the regular things that I should be doing anyway.

Saying my prayers, studying the scriptures. Stuff I've been doing forever.

But, sometimes the habit dies for a little bit and I have to get back into it.

And just when I think, "ok, I'm making some good progress here", bam! I'm hit with something that makes life seem hard.

And not even really hard stuff.  Just sicknesses, money issues, food not turning out right. (First world problems I know!)

On my mission I was taught that whenever I have a big spiritual experience, I should be prepared for Satan to come right back at me to get me down.

Or that Satan will increase his temptations just before a really big blessing comes.

Now, I'm not tempted by bad things, but time management, (ie, making time to do what is right), or self-worth issues seem to be my temptations.

Here's where the battle comes in.

If I don't do anything, I don't feel great, but its not horrible either.

When I make an effort then Satan hits harder.

There are times that I wonder if its worth the fight.

I'm sure that I could go on with my life, wasting time, overeating, etc. and Satan would just back off.

But then I'm not really progressing or receiving needed blessings by being close to God.

So it's a choice.

Take life easy and never feel fulfilled.

Or fight "like a dragon" to get past this wall that seems to be continually placed before me.

Teach, Train, Practice

I've been reading a new parenting book that has helped me focus on the purpose of teaching kids how to work.

I've mostly made my kids work because there's just a lot of work to be done in a family of 9.

I also knew that I wanted them to have the habit of hard work for when they got older.

But I'm learning that it's not just about work.  It's also about training my kids to do certain things.

Instead of just saying "go vacuum your room", I have to first teach them how to do it.

Then I have to follow this with a training period where I am make sure that they are doing it right.

Later, I get to give them lots of practice in vacuuming.

Here's how that looks like in my home right now:

• The 3 year old is in the midst of "practicing" telling when he has to use the bathroom.  From there we'll move on to some more training, then practicing in that particular area.

• My 5 year old is learning how to make her own breakfast.  We've got the toast thing down and now she's moved up to microwaved oatmeal.  I walked her through the steps and then I shadowed her as she did it.  Now she can pretty much do it on her own.  But I also have her make her little brother's oatmeal, too, for practice.

• My 9 year old is learning how to make salads.  At first it was just tearing up lettuce and washing it.  Then we moved on to cutting up tomatoes and cucumbers.  Now, I am putting her in charge of choosing the salads she wants to make with dinner, as well.  (I hope she'll be more likely to eat the salad if she's making it.) 

• I know we're kind of late to the game here, but I'm working on general hygiene with my 11 year old boy.  Things like the proper way to clean yourself in the shower; how to put on deodorant; nail care; and other bathroom issues.  I never really thought about actually teaching this stuff. I guessed that they would eventually just figure it out on their own.  But, I think I read that it actually takes 8 teaching times to learn a skill.

• My almost 13 year old boy wants/needs to learn to wake up on his own.  Right now, he's doing a good job of waking up the first time I tell him to get up, but we're going to get an alarm and then see if we can figure out a consequence/motivation for him to do it on his own. Then he can practice this for the rest of his life.

• My 14 year old daughter is going to learn how to iron.  Since she's gone to school all day, this will be a weekend training thing.  But, then she'll get lots of practice every Saturday for at least a few months.

• Finally, my 16 year old wants to learn how to make Sunday dinners.  She already knows how to do most stuff in the kitchen so I think this means letting her do it all on her own.  But, it will take some patience on my part to let her.

That's really the whole thing.  It would be much easier if I just continued to do these things myself instead of walking my kids through the steps over and over again.

But I want my children to be responsible adults with the necessary skills to survive thrive.

Having this sense of purpose to all the work I do, helps me feel good about being deep in the trenches of motherhood.

Birthdays

It's my 5 year old's birthday and she's having a hard day.

She stayed up late last night because she was too excited to sleep.

We hung some balloons up this morning and cooked her choice of breakfast (sausage, bacon, biscuits, eggs).

She opened her present.

And, now, "this is the worst birthday ever!"


She has been so excited for her birthday and I guess had a certain vision of how it was supposed to go.

Last year she had a small friend party with balloons and games.
 
And she's been invited to other kids' parties that were really cool.

Apparently, she hasn't noticed that we don't do parties every year.

Or really make any kind of huge deal out of birthdays.

I kind of feel bad for her.

I think it's one of those, "you'll thank me later" things.

Because, I'm just preparing her for when she becomes a Mom!  
(insert hearty guffaw here)

Daily Scrum

My husband got this idea from some managerial techniques that he had read about.

Basically, you get together and tell everyone what you have accomplished that day.  And then what you plan on doing next.

Our idea for starting it came from the fact that some of our kids complain that we make them do everything! all the time!

But, then sometimes, when we ask them what they have done that day they'll say, nothing!

So, sometime at dinner, we ask them two questions, "what did you get done today? what will you get done tomorrow?"

They don't really want to say nothing because then they can't complain later that we make them do everything!

I thought that the main benefit from doing this would be that my kids would be more motivated to get stuff done.

And there has been some of that.

What I didn't realize, was how helpful it would be for me.

Sometimes by the end of the day, when my house is a disaster;
and there's laundry to be folded;
and dishes to be done;
and a million other things that I didn't get done;
I wonder, "what did I do all day long"

But, as I go through "the scrum" I realize, "wow, I did accomplish some stuff today."

And it's actually some pretty important stuff like teaching my children, and feeding them, and loving on them.   
 
And because I feel better about myself, I'm more likely to get that other stuff done.  

It's always better to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on negatives.

Hooray for Daily Scrum!

Re-Gifting

Last year when my parents came out to visit, my mom brought me a present.

It was a flower from a Sweetheart's dance that I went to in high school.

My date didn't have a real corsage to give me until we got into the car to leave and then he just kind of threw this flower thing into my lap.

It was fake and it had a safety pin on the back.

I refused to wear it. I was humiliated.


My mom is still friends with his mom.

When she brought it to me I found out that it had come from one of her dresses and that she hadn't realized, until too late, that he had taken it for the dance.

For 25 years, every time she saw it, she would think of me.

She thought that I should have it.

I'm glad I can laugh about it now, because it was definitely not funny to my 17 year old high school self.


My daughter is going to her first high school dance this weekend. 

Since she's never really done this before and the boy hasn't either, she's a little worried about how it's all going to work. 

She asked me if I thought he would get her a corsage?

I told her that I had an extra one that I could lend her in case he didn't.

"If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Sometimes the pressure is a little too much.

I hate the fact that if I have a bad day, the whole family seems to fall apart. 

A while ago, when I was feeling sorry for myself, I made a super long list of all the things that I was in charge of.

Then I made a list of what my husband was in charge of.

His list was really short.

I thought that seemed unfair at first.  But, then I realized that the number one thing on his list carries more weight than anything on my list.

His number one job:  keep me happy.

I'm lucky he does such a good job.

Finding Inspiration

Sometimes I simmer around ideas for several days, weeks or months before I'm ready to put into words what I've been thinking about.

Sometimes an idea will just pop into my head and I'll write about it.

Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out what to write I draw a complete blank.

I try to feel inspired when I'm writing and I said out loud today to my husband, "why shouldn't I be able to get inspiration about things to write about?"

His response, "because you always get whatever you want?"

Did you know that just because I want something bad enough, even if it is a good thing, doesn't mean I will always get it?

Duh.

I like to think that the Lord will bless me with needed inspiration whenever I want it, but the truth is that He works on His timing, not mine.

Here's an example: 

This summer I kept seeking inspiration on our job search.  I had already told the Lord that I would go wherever we were needed. 

But couldn't I just get a little inspiration on where that was. 

Or even more importantly, when that was? 

If I just knew how long it was going to take, then I would be able to deal with it so much better.  I would have some kind of deadline to work towards.

Looking back now,  I think if I had known how long it would take to get a job I probably would not have started homeschooling.

And I know that I would not have grown closer to the Lord through my pleadings. 

I would not have had the same gratitude and humility from knowing how many people were praying for us.

In other words, I would not have had the experiences that I needed to grow. (I wish that growing was easier.)

Now I can say that I feel extremely grateful for that time.

I recognize that a lot of my growth has come from other times when I've been searching for inspiration and I have felt like I was on my own.

When I say on my own, I don't mean alone.

I know that the Lord is always with me.  

If inspiration doesn't come it's not because the Lord is too busy to help me out.

And it's not because I am not showing enough obedience to get what I want.

Sometimes it is just. hard. work.
  
And the inspiration that I think I need, will actually be recognizing what I have learned from that hard work.

Re-Post: Life is A Battlefield

I'm going to be totally lame because it's Saturday and I want need to get as much stuff done as possible.  So I'm re-posting one of my kids' favorite.  (Ok, it's one of my favorites too and it may or may not also still be applicable today.)

Slowly she creeps across the bleak landscape. Wary and unsure of her next step.

Visions of her partner's battle wound press into her mind. The scar will always be there as a reminder.

Some have no problem navigating through the area. And yet, for her, each step is a painful reminder of what once was.

There are those who would gladly do the job for the right compensation. But with no resources it is up to her, and her alone.

If only.

No, those thoughts must not be allowed to take over. She must live in the present and deal with what is before her.

Questions will only lead to distractions.

Distractions lead to neglect.

Neglect leads to, well, to this.

Eventually all of this must stop.

Bravely she stoops down.

Carefully, carefully.

She reaches for the nearest object, avoiding the urge to look around too much. Then slowly she stands again.

One down, who knows how many more to go.

Anyone feel like cleaning up my living room for me?

Stretching

I love exercising.

It just makes me feel so good, so alive.

I love working up a sweat and feeling like I'm accomplishing something.  I love taking care of my body.

But, I have to admit that it is really hard work. 

And I have to really make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

One thing that really motivates me?

The cool-down stretch.

It is my favorite part.

I never stretch out before I exercise; it just feels wrong and too tight.

But, after I'm all warmed up and kinda beat - it is the best feeling in the world.

I love taking time to think about what I just accomplished. 

And I love noticing that I can stretch just a little bit further than I did the last time.


I just realized today that I can relate this to my life.

Being obedient/having faith makes me feel good.

But, it is hard work and I have to make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

So what motivates me to do it?

The stretching.

When I'm going through hard times I don't often think about how good it feels.

But, when I look back at these experiences and I can see how far I've come, it feels great.

And that is the best feeling in the world - becoming who God wants me to be.