Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

I have been thinking about friends lately. And how I have not been a very good friend.

You know how sometimes you just know that you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, but you just go on not doing it anyway.

I've been that way for about the last 6 weeks.

And I realize that I've abandoned all of my friends in the process.

My friends could have helped me be a better person this last little while. And yet I turned away from them.

My friends make me feel good about myself. They let me talk. They encourage me. They ask the right questions. They say the right things. They believe in me. They remind me who I am.

But isn't it always true that when you are messing up your life, you don't want to be reminded by others that it's not who you really are?

Luckily, there are so many people in my life who love me and whom I consider "friends". I was reminded of this when a friend called just to see how I was doing. And another I ran into said they had been thinking about me all week. My friends never left. So where did I go?

I think I got swallowed.

"No waters can swallow the ship where lies The Master of ocean and earth and skies."

Life is hard. But when I keep God close to me, I don't get swallowed. He never leaves, but I often leave Him. And when I do turn back to Him, it is always a good thing. Sometimes hard, but always good.

It is the same with friends. It might be awkward to start being a friend again. There may be a few bumps. And I know that sometimes friendships change over time (and space). And different people will come into our lives at different times for different reasons.

But I realize how much I need friends to be the kind of person I want to be.

And I need God in my life, to become the person I want to be.