Personal Pep Talk

(I'm having a hard time deciding how to write this blog. It's going to sound whiny and its going to be personal, but here I go anyway.)

I'm struggling.

That's probably not a huge surprise to some.

It was to me, because I like to think that I have it all together. Even when things are kind of hard I still try and stay positive. Maybe it's an image I'm just trying to keep up.

I have awesome friends who came to visit me this week (2 hour drive visit!). I think they knew I needed it. I have friends who called just to check on me this week. I think they knew, too. Now I think that I'm finally ready to admit it to myself.

I'm struggling.

Just saying it out loud makes a difference. Does anyone else have a hard time admitting that maybe life really is hard and you can't do it on your own?

Did you know that the word struggle is in the scriptures?

"O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies, notwithstanding our many strugglings, which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made." (Mosiah 7:18)

Apparently, many of my strugglings are in vain. So what is this effectual struggle that he talks about?

"But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." (vs. 33)

That is a struggle, to trust. To turn it all over. Not a giving up but giving over. It's letting go of the control that I think I have to have. I will never be able to do it on my own. I will never be able to do it by myself. I need help. The only way I'm going to make it through is by relying on the Lord.

Unfortunately, this does not make the hard things go away. But just remembering that I don't have to do it by myself, remembering that I have someone else to rely on; it makes the struggle an effectual one.