Be Myself

More than a decade ago, our family spent the summer being "homeless".

(that's a post for a different time)

During that time, I wrote a post about my drug of choice.

Being organized and structured was how I stayed sane.

At the time I had 7 kids all at home and it was chaotic.

Now that most of my kids are adults, the chaos is different.

And I recently spent a few years trying to get away from my "structured" personality.

For some reason, I felt that I needed to be a more "go with the flow" type of person.

I didn't like my black and white thinking.

Was there really a need to have all of that structure?

This quote from Sis. Patricia Holland really resonated with me.

"For many years I tried to measure the ofttimes quiet, reflective, thoughtful Pat Holland against the robust, bubbly, talkative, and energetic Jeff Holland and others with like qualities. I have learned through several fatiguing failures that you can’t have joy in being bubbly if you are not a bubbly person. It is a contradiction in terms. I have given up seeing myself as a flawed person because my energy level is lower than Jeff’s, and I don’t talk as much as he does, nor as fast. Giving this up has freed me to embrace and rejoice in my own manner and personality in the measure of my creation. Ironically, that has allowed me to admire and enjoy Jeff’s ebullience even more. 

Somewhere, somehow the Lord “blipped the message onto my screen” that my personality was created to fit precisely the mission and talents he gave me. For example, the quieter, calmer talent of playing the piano reveals much about the real Pat Holland. I would never have learned to play the piano if I hadn’t enjoyed the long hours of solitude required for its development. This same principle applies to my love of writing, reading, meditation, and especially teaching and talking with my children. Miraculously, I have found that I have untold abundant sources of energy to be myself. But the moment I indulge in imitation of my neighbor, I feel fractured and fatigued and find myself forever swimming upstream. When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions, and a serious schism settles in our soul. God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it. We just have to be willing to do it our own way. We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become." (LDS Women’s Treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman, p.98)

I do believe it was good for me to step back and figure out why I do things the way I do.

And to make sure that my way wasn't getting in the way of the Lord's way.

But, I also realized that I don't have to be like anyone else.

God will use my strengths to accomplish His work and glory.

Making My Bed

My life often seems hectic and a bit out of control.

There's constantly something on my checklist that needs to get done.

As I begin to feel overwhelmed, there's always one was to calm myself.

Making my bed.

I have not always been a bed maker.

It just never seemed that important.

Now, I understand the power that comes from having a made bed.

For me, seeing a made bed in the middle of all the other "to-do" things brings me peace.

It lets me know that I have at least accomplished that much today.

Making my bed is a little thing.

But, "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass". (Alma 37:6)

Zone Cleaning

I'm pretty sure I've talked about zone cleaning before, but here what is working for us now.

Since I have four kids at home, I have divided the cleaning areas into 4 zones.

Right now the zones are: Kitchen, Dining Room, Front Room, Cats/Sweep

Each area has at least one daily job and then there is also an extra job every day.

We rotate weekly through the zones.

Kitchen zone requires putting away dishes every day and clearing/wiping the counter.
The extra jobs are: wipe appliances, clean out microwave, wipe down garbage can, empty garbages throughout the entire house.

Dining Room has to clear the table each day and then they also clear off the information center, organize the coloring shelf, clean off the bench seat, dust and wipe down chairs.

Front Room is in charge of vacuuming every day. They also straighten the bookshelves, the front closet, the top of piano, dust and clean under couches.

Cats/Sweep are in charge of feeding and watering the cats daily as well as sweeping (we have wood laminate all upstairs). Then they need to clean the cat's water bowl once a week, empty the litter box, and vacuum the outdoor/indoor rug by the back door.

After quiet time, the kids work on their zones so they can have a snack.

My kids are motivated by food and we've been doing this long enough, that they know the routine.

Any jobs that didn't get full attention during the week are taken care of (or done again) during our regular cleaning day on Saturday.

Saturday is also the day we vacuum bedrooms and clean bathrooms.

Fortunately, our kitchen has been staying pretty clean even though everyone is home.

That's because the kids are in charge of getting the whole kitchen cleaned every night (dishes, table, food, counter) before they can watch a show or movie.

Sometimes I worry that maybe there is too much screen time going on, but a clean kitchen at this time is worth it!

Family Scripture Study

Oops, looks like I skipped over our family scripture study.

The thing is, I am definitely not an expert in this.

We have tried LOTS of different ways to do this.

For sure, morning time works best for us.

By night time, my mom hat/patience is almost gone.

I just want everyone to go to bed.

And I am a believer in letting kids sleep as long as possible.

So, I put off doing early morning scriptures for a long time.

Notice I said "kids" in the previous sentence.

Teenagers are not kids!

When I had kids start high school, we started doing scripture study at 6:30am.

We do that all during the school year.

And then I've always struggled where to fit scripture study in during the summer.

I usually get up and exercise and go to work for a short time and the kids sleep until I get home around 8:30.

Though there have been some summers when I still woke the kids up at 6:30 so my husband could join us.

Ha! There was some rebellion.

Now, that there is not a school schedule to adjust to, I decided to do the 8:30 time.

But, I wake the kids up 30 minutes before for breakfast and getting ready.

Our scripture study goes much better when they are awake.

That being said, what does it really mean that scripture study goes better?

We go back and forth between taking turns reading out loud in chronological order and trying to have kids read before and then having a discussion.

Having the Come Follow Me program has helped us a lot.

I'd love to say that every scripture study is spiritually fulfilling.

But the truth is, I probably only feel the spirit during scripture study hopefully once a week; maybe less.

To me, the important part of scripture study is developing the habit.

I want my kids to know its important to me to make it a priority.

And maybe when they are older, they will remember the importance and make it a habit in their own families.

Exercise

Exercise.

It's important.

The end.



Ok, I'll say a little bit more about this.

(I mean, I did get a college degree in this subject.)


I am a true believer in exercising.

You know how most mom's have that one solution for any problem?

My solution for almost any problem is, "maybe you need to exercise?"

That, and "how much water have you had today?"

This COVID-19 came at a pretty tough time.

Our little town was just barely coming out of the long sleep of winter.

We've been stuck inside because of the cold for at least 4 months already.

And now that the snow is starting to melt and the temperatures are getting above freezing we can't go outside?!

I started a couch to 5k program about 2 weeks before quarantine.

Most of my runs were on an indoor track.

Luckily, there's been some nice enough weather (above 20 degrees) where I have been able to transition outside.

And more importantly, my kids need to get outside.

They're not toddlers anymore, but they still have energy that needs to come out other ways than yelling at each other.

Here's a list of some of the exercise activities they've been doing every day:

Biking (just up and down our street and maybe around the church parking lot)
Walking (up and down the neighborhood not getting close to anyone)
Exercise bike (inside)
Fitbit App workouts
Just Dance (wii)
Sword fighting (you know, the usual)

I have been doing Yoga on the days I don't run.

Yoga used to make me dizzy, but I've learned to only focus on myself and not doing it exactly right and that seems to be helping my head.

I love it!!

Anyway, exercise is important.

Just do it.

Quiet Time

I want to talk about Quiet Time.

This is not to be confused with my Mom Time.

(and it is so important to me, that I'm skipping over exercise time to talk about it!)

When I was just starting out on this parenting journey, I was lucky enough to have an older sister with kids older than mine.

She was a gold mine of information.

But, the number one nugget she gave me was the idea of "Quiet Time".

Every day, there is a time set apart for it.

The rule is, it must be spent in your room and you can't come out until the time is over.

When I first started this, we did only a 15 minute quiet time.

And there was some crying and door holding to get it to happen.

They could do what they wanted in quiet time as long as they cleaned up afterwards.

At the beginning, it would usually turn in to nap time.

As they got used to the idea, we gradually increased the time.

And as more kids came along, there was less quiet and more messy  creative play.

It became 30-60 minutes of my day that I looked forward to having some down time.

Life saver!!


We'd gone away from quiet times in our home.

My kids are older and not around that much anyway.

That is until now.

We are home together all the time.

And Quiet Time is back!


My kids complained a lot at first.

"We have to do an hour and a half of quiet time every day!!??!!"

"What are we supposed to do for that long??!!!"

Guess what?

It's saving our lives again!!

This time, everyone has to spend that time alone.

There's not many naps (though there have been some).

There's a lot of reading.

And a lot of creativity happening. (though no music is allowed - because quiet, right?)

I believe my kids are getting along a lot better with each other, because they have some alone time every day.

They play better together when they are together because they are not together all the time. Ha!

I usually end up working during that time.

Or just enjoying the peace.

If you are just starting out, don't expect perfect results at first.

We did the work to get to this.

But, it is worth the effort to get something like this in place.

Life saving, I tell you!

Thanks Pam.

Cluffs Like Food

We really like food in our family.

It's a bit of a running joke in our family to say, "Cluffs like food."

My husband has a family history book of the Cluff family from late 1800s and early 1900s.

Our family got a kick out of reading the descriptions of the different family reunions.

A lot of the descriptions were about the food served.

That's why all the food times on my schedule are marked in bold.

Eating is important to us.

It's in our blood.

Also, if I didn't put regular eating times into the schedule, I'm pretty sure that my kids would be grazing all day long!

There are not a lot of chances to feel in control of life right now.

Making a schedule of food gives me at least a sense of control in that area.

I even scheduled out each day's snacks and lunches for 2 weeks.

And, like all hard schedules that I write out, they end up being "guidelines".

My kids know what food is in the house and they get one type of snack per day at the appropriate time.

It makes my life easy.

And my kids get fed. 

And in case anyone is interested, here's our list of snacks and lunches:

Pretzels*
Granola bar
Fruit
Crackers*
Gogurt
Goldfish*
Nuts
Popcorn
Veggies/Hummus
Treat
Nachos
Sandwich
Pasta
Ramen
Pizza Quesadillas
Mini Pizzas
Mini Sandwiches
Leftovers

* they read the serving size on the labels to know how much they get.

The thing is, my kids are always hungry.

So, my favorite line to use is, "It takes 30 days to starve. Come talk to me after not eating for 29 days."

I guess it sounds kind of harsh.

I really love my kids.

And I love my sanity.

And, we really like food.

Mom Time/Hear Him

So, I want to talk about the very first thing in my COVID-19 schedule.

When school was in, I had kids that needed to be at school by 7am.

That meant we had to have scriptures no later than 6:30 every morning.

I always set my alarm for 5:20am with the idea that I could read news and scriptures before getting everyone else up and ready.

It worked ok.


A couple of months ago, I decided to read and write down all of President Nelson's  invitations.

The idea was to pick one and work on it for a few months.

After re-reading all of his talks, I realized that more than anything I wanted to work harder on receiving personal revelation - really hearing God speak to me.

So, after getting kids off to school and exercising with friends, I made a stronger effort to take time to pray and listen to God.

I would get completely ready to go to work and then I would stop.

I'd shut my door and just pray.

I decided to carve out 30 min of my morning doing this.

Even though I didn't think I could really pray for that long, I did not want to feel rushed.


It became my most treasured time each day.

A time to slow down and express all of my feelings to my Father in Heaven.

And a time to feel His love for me and any direction I needed.


Fast forward now to kids being home ALL the time.

They don't need to be out the door early.

But, I've kept the habit of getting up early in the morning.

I still do my scripture reading and exercising and getting ready.

The kids know that we start doing breakfast at 8:00.

But, until then, I will be in my room for my alone time.

So, don't knock on my door!


It is still the best part of my day.

That time is exactly what I need to be able to face each day.

My patience has increased.

As well as my gratitude.

And when I follow any promptings that I receive, my day goes great.


When my kids were really little, and getting ready for church was a monumental effort, I learned that if I didn't get myself ready first, then it might not happen in time.

I still have that testimony.

If I don't take the time for the "needful" things as my very first priority, it's less likely to happen.


I know God wants to speak to me.

He loves me.

And I know He loves you.

Make time to Hear Him!

COVID-19 Schedule

I thought that I would post the schedule that is currently working for my family.

The ages of my kids are 18, 16, 12, 10.

I have always been a schedule person (see here).

5:30am-8:00am - Mom time (this is when I exercise, read scriptures, pray, get ready, etc)
8:00am - Breakfast
8:30am - Family scriptures
9:00am-11:00am - School work
          -Snack break-
More school
12:00pm - Exercise time
12:30pm - Lunch
1:00pm-2:30pm - Quiet Time
2:30pm - Zone cleaning
          -Snack break-
3:00pm-6:00pm - Project time/other school/free time
6:00pm - Dinner
They take turns picking a movie or show to watch every night after the kitchen/dinner is all cleaned up. As long as they got all of the necessary school work done.
9:00pm - Bedtime

It's working pretty good for us so far.

I'll post more about each block another time.

I'm trying to post a little bit more to record memories of this time.

Running Hills (Part Four)

I've written a lot about running hills.

Running Hills (part 1)
Running Hills (part 2)
Running Hills (part 3)

But, not recently.

I was thinking about that the other day on my early morning walk.

My goal this summer is to do a lot of hiking, so I'm trying to get stronger.

Why don't I run hills anymore? Am I missing out on those lessons? Am I doing something wrong?


Actually, I don't mind not running right now.

Walking is what I need. 

I can talk when I'm walking.

There's more chances to look around and notice the beauty around me, than when I was trying to make a certain distance or time.


I do miss the sense of accomplishment I felt when I conquered a hill.

And, I still should probably find some hills to practice on.

But mostly, I'm just walking as much as I can.

So when I start hiking, and come to a hill, I'll already have some strength built up.


Walking can feel like I'm doing the same thing over and over again; without really progressing.

The way that sometimes saying prayers, reading the scriptures, going to church, etc. starts to feel.

But, walking (instead of running) is not the same thing as coasting.

I'm still walking and moving forward.

Saying my prayers and reading my scriptures every day is moving me forward.

Slowing down has helped me notice more of the beautiful things in my life.

It is still strengthening me.


And so, if/when I come to a "hill" in my life, I'll have the strength I need to conquer it.

Putting God First

I had a wonderful summer of exercising with friends almost daily.

We walked, we ran, we jogged, we pilate-ed.

Exercise (especially with friends) is good for my soul.

I knew when school started back up that I would need to find a different routine to get my exercise in.

Because of my awesome summer, I decided that I wanted it to be a priority.

Instead of trying to figure out how to fit exercise into my life, this time I would try and fit my life into exercise.

I knew it was a good priority to have because of how good it made me feel.

Then school started.

And I just wasn't feeling it.

Well, I was feeling something.

Unease.

Stress.

Discombobulation.

Finally, this morning, I decided that I had had enough and that exercise was just going to have to be put on the lower priority list.

I knew this was the right thing to do, but I had been fighting it.

And justifying it.

Even so, I prayed so intently this morning to God and pleaded that if I was going to just try and "fit" exercise into my life, to please help me find the time.

I got ready to get into the shower and head off to work.

Except....

I didn't have the clean clothes I needed.

Are you kidding me?

So, instead of showering (sorry, co-workers), I started the wash, put my exercise clothes on, and headed off to work.

Ha, Ha. This is how my prayer is answered? with dirty clothes?

I still have to work though; that has to come before exercise.

But, guess what happened when I got to a stopping point at work?

My friends were just starting a workout around the corner from me.

Do I want to come join them?

What do you know? I already have my exercise clothes on! I can totally join!!

I decide to put God first (following the spirit, instead of my wants) and my prayers are immediately answered (having my desires as well as my needs met).

Amen.

Power vs. Control

I think I write a lot about how my life feels out of control.

And I'm always looking for the next "gimmick" that will help me get control of things.

It could be new chore charts for the kids, a new diet, a new cleaning schedule, etc.

It's my way of trying to insert some control into my life.

These gimmicks usually don't last a long time.

The desire for control can cause frustration because there are actually very few things that I have control over.

I can't control the weather, the bad stuff in the world, or even the choices my children make.

This can then lead me to look for an escape that gives me a kind of counterfeit control.

Computer games, watching movies all day, social media.

I can control what I watch or I can control my time as I choose.


But, what I really need is not control - it is power.

 
The purpose of life is not to control all things.

It is to learn to be obedient.

"And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them."  Abraham 3:25

When I am obedient, God blesses and prospers me.  Mosiah 2:22

He gives me power to accomplish what He wants me to do. 1 Nephi 3:7

Power comes when I choose the right.

 It is a gift from God.

 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:5

He wants to give me power.

His power.

And through that power I can accomplish amazing things.

Teach, Train, Practice

I've been reading a new parenting book that has helped me focus on the purpose of teaching kids how to work.

I've mostly made my kids work because there's just a lot of work to be done in a family of 9.

I also knew that I wanted them to have the habit of hard work for when they got older.

But I'm learning that it's not just about work.  It's also about training my kids to do certain things.

Instead of just saying "go vacuum your room", I have to first teach them how to do it.

Then I have to follow this with a training period where I am make sure that they are doing it right.

Later, I get to give them lots of practice in vacuuming.

Here's how that looks like in my home right now:

• The 3 year old is in the midst of "practicing" telling when he has to use the bathroom.  From there we'll move on to some more training, then practicing in that particular area.

• My 5 year old is learning how to make her own breakfast.  We've got the toast thing down and now she's moved up to microwaved oatmeal.  I walked her through the steps and then I shadowed her as she did it.  Now she can pretty much do it on her own.  But I also have her make her little brother's oatmeal, too, for practice.

• My 9 year old is learning how to make salads.  At first it was just tearing up lettuce and washing it.  Then we moved on to cutting up tomatoes and cucumbers.  Now, I am putting her in charge of choosing the salads she wants to make with dinner, as well.  (I hope she'll be more likely to eat the salad if she's making it.) 

• I know we're kind of late to the game here, but I'm working on general hygiene with my 11 year old boy.  Things like the proper way to clean yourself in the shower; how to put on deodorant; nail care; and other bathroom issues.  I never really thought about actually teaching this stuff. I guessed that they would eventually just figure it out on their own.  But, I think I read that it actually takes 8 teaching times to learn a skill.

• My almost 13 year old boy wants/needs to learn to wake up on his own.  Right now, he's doing a good job of waking up the first time I tell him to get up, but we're going to get an alarm and then see if we can figure out a consequence/motivation for him to do it on his own. Then he can practice this for the rest of his life.

• My 14 year old daughter is going to learn how to iron.  Since she's gone to school all day, this will be a weekend training thing.  But, then she'll get lots of practice every Saturday for at least a few months.

• Finally, my 16 year old wants to learn how to make Sunday dinners.  She already knows how to do most stuff in the kitchen so I think this means letting her do it all on her own.  But, it will take some patience on my part to let her.

That's really the whole thing.  It would be much easier if I just continued to do these things myself instead of walking my kids through the steps over and over again.

But I want my children to be responsible adults with the necessary skills to survive thrive.

Having this sense of purpose to all the work I do, helps me feel good about being deep in the trenches of motherhood.

My Blog "Marathon"

I have always wanted to do a marathon. 

And I really hope to run one someday. 

But,for now, I've decided to do a marathon blog instead. 

My plan is to post something every day for 26 days. 

There are a couple of reasons I want to do this.  But, mostly I feel the need to create something.

And hopefully combat the depression that comes this time of year.  (You know the kind that comes from no sun and freezing cold temperatures!)  

Anyone else want to join me?  I love reading other people's blogs.

And just so you know, I'm totally counting today and yesterday, so I only have to post 24 more times in a row!

Science Geeks

It was the science fair last night.

I really like the way our elementary school does it.

Anyone who wants to can participate; but it is very low key and everyone gets a medal and certificate.

They had a professor from the university doing science experiments in the front for the kids and their families.

He had a static electricity ball.

And he had a girl with long hair put her hand on it so we could watch her hair go up.

He kept telling the kids "don't touch her or it won't work!"

But different kids kept throwing stuff at her and trying to touch her.

And I thought to myself: look at who you are talking to guy.

You have a bunch of kids in front of you who wanted to do the science fair.

They are the ones who like to experiment.

So of course, if you tell them not to do something or this will happen, they are going to test it out!

It's just the way their minds work.


It would do me well to remember this in my own family.

My kids are very strong-willed. (that might even be an understatement)

So of course, they are going to test limits to see what happens.

As long as they feel the consequences then maybe the lesson will be learned.

Unfortunately, it takes a lot of patience to actually put this into practice.

But, hey this life if basically one huge science experiment for us to test ourselves and learn.

Over and over again.

Parenting Books

This is for a friend who asked about different parenting books that I have read. Since I’ve been having a difficult time coming up with my next post, here’s the stone for those two birds.

First of all there are so many books out there. And they all kind of say different things; especially, when it comes to discipline.

I've found I just have to go with my gut. I guess most would call it mother's instinct.

So, as I read the books, I just disregard things that I don't really feel will work in my situation.

And I try hard not to have guilt about not doing everything they say I should be doing.

Here's a list of some books that I can remember and what I got out of them.

The first parenting book I ever read was by John Rosemond called "The Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children". The main thing from this book was that the husband/wife relationship comes before the children; children should not be entertained all the time; kids need more vitamin N (no); and the purpose of parenting is to teach children to become responsible adults.

He’s a little heavy on the discipline side but the "5 Love Languages" was good for balancing out the other side.

I really like "Parenting Ephraim's Child". It is from an LDS perspective and totally went with my idea that these strong-willed kids are here for a reason and we just have to figure out how to direct them; good discipline ideas, too.

"The Mom's Club Diaries" is a fun one to read so you know you're not alone in the chaos.

And "Letters" by Marjorie Peay Hinckley is not really a parenting book, but so good to help you know that everyone is normal.

I know I read "How to Behave So Your Children Will Too", though now I really only remember the title.

For older kids I really liked Steven Covey’s "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families".

Anyway, I hope these help. And anyone else with good book ideas, please comment.
Good luck with your munchkins. I think you are an awesome mom.

Nugget

This is a great saying that I just read the other day:

Make the problem the enemy; not you or your child.

Discovery Week

I learned a new equation this week.

Perfectionism + Competitiveness = Hopelessness/Anger

I had to deal with an issue with a child this week. I found some good info here and here.

It was good for me to read this stuff instead of flying off the handle like I wanted to. And I discovered some new insights into my child.

Another thing I learned or discovered (this time about myself): I am a coach.

Like, no duh, right? I love coaching.

But unfortunately, I have a coach voice and attitude.

Stuff like: "c'mon, you can do better than that!" or "what is the problem here?"

Can you hear it?

It sounds great outside on a field or on a court. But inside my home I realize that I need to have a meeker approach to teaching.

I'm always open for learning new things. Especially when it helps me be a better mom.

War Status Update

I was told that I needed to provide an update on how "the war" is going.

There seems to be some sort of a cease-fire going on. "A" has been diligently showering everyday and paying for underwear. We did drop the prices like she asked since she has not been arguing or complaining.

Mostly, she's been wearing "B"'s clothes.

I was so ready for more tantrums about the loss of clothes, that I really wasn't prepared for this truce. In fact, I had to ask my husband how long we were going to make her pay for her clothes. We hadn't really discussed it.

This morning the question was asked:

"So, if I wash my clothes do I have to give them back to you and pay for them again? or do I get to keep them?"

"Um, yeah, you can keep them, you paid for them."

"Ok."

No yelling, no fighting, just an eerie calm.

She did break down and pay me $5 this morning for a whole new outfit: pants, shirt, undershirt, socks, underwear.

Do I pay tithing on that?

This Is War!

Ok, so that title might be a little much. But that is basically how I was feeling earlier this morning. You see, I have a 13 year old daughter. Enough said? She is a really good person. We just have this problem with discipline. I remember going to a class once that was on How to Discipline Your Toddler. And I remember the speaker saying, you're going to need to remember this, because toddlers and teenagers are not that different. Boy, was she right. So I was trying to remember what my teenager was like as a toddler. She was usually really good. The problem of course was when she wasn't. It was hard to discipline her because she didn't care about anything. It was hard to take things away when she didn't care. And when we would get mad at her she thought it was a funny game. The smirk on her face made us even more insane, causing her to smirk even more. Totally vicious circle. Well, now she's a teenager and guess what, she still doesn't care about much. But I think I figured something out. Here's what I got on my pillow this morning:

Dear Mom & Dad,
I am sorry about yesterday. I made bad choices, but you did make pretty violent punishments. Is there any possible way that we could lessen these punishments ever so slightly? It would make it easier on both of us. I mean, you guys have to enforce these punishments. (it's so nice that she cares about us)
Ok, so I don't care about the no reading, no computer time, no watching other's computer time, and all that. At the moment, I think that's for the best. (so glad she agrees) I will not rush through jobs so I can read and end up forgetting my homework. (totally not the problem) I can work on my pillowcase embroidery. I can write letters to my Lehi friends so we can be pen pals.
But the other part of the punishment is the "violent" part. Sneaking into my room and taking all my clothes while I shower is a bit overreactive. I know I showered disobediently (we gave her the choice of showering now or in the morning, when she refused to decide we said - morning) and I'm sorry, but taking my clothes and making me pay for them is quite drastic. (I know, awesome! and it just came to me)
I'm not going to try to persuade you out of making me pay for my clothes, I'd just like to tweak the payments a bit. (I'm glad she's not going to try and persuade us) I'd be much more willing to pay for the clothes this way. I have 3 choices:
Option A: underwear, socks, bras, undershirts - 50c each; shirts, pants - $1 each; church outfits - $3 an outfit; school outfit (this includes undershirt, shirt, pants, socks) $5. I also get 1 article of clothing of your choice every time I do 1 extra job without complaining. This means complete and well done.
Option B: This option is just the prices lessened as show above.
Option C: This option is the job - clothes option only
These options would increase my willingness to help and pay. By the way, the prices before are way too expensive.
Happy Anniversary!
[name]

So is anyone else laughing hysterically over this letter? She is a really good writer. This letter just made my day. But here's the deal, instead of having to pay for clothes this morning, apparently she had a pair of jeans in the bathroom with her that I didn't get. And her sister, who according to her, is mean to her and annoying, let her borrow some clothes. She thought she had totally got us. The smirk was back.

But one thing I learned from her toddler years, I cannot get angry. Well, I mean I cannot lose it. I will just proceed and see how it all goes. She will get extra jobs, she will not be allowed to read. And she will have to pay for clothes to wear. And I'll also make sure that her love bucket is full so she'll want to be good.

But can you see why it's almost like war?