Defining Myself

Whenever I move or start new somewhere, I tend to ask myself :

"Who do I want to be now?" 

 or 

"How do I want others to see me?"

My husband has always told me that I shouldn't try to be anything.  

Just myself.  

But I like the idea of inventing a new self.  

The problem comes when something happens that makes me have to change my definition of who I think I am.  

My life seems to spiral out of control until I come up with the new definition.  

"Now, who do I want to be?"

Example:  I have been defining myself as a "home-school" mom.  

But, this year I am going to be sending most of my kids to public school.  

 That means I will now be a "public school" mom. 

(what does that mean anyway - and why have I allowed myself to make that sound like a bad thing?!!)

See the problem with having narrow definitions of myself?

Luckily I have this blog (that I write mostly for myself) to remind me of what I have learned before and apparently need to learn again.   

 (click these pinkish links - they're good!)

I'm not a home-school mom or a public school mom.

I'm just a mom.

Or even broader than that.

I'm a daughter of God. 

And God just expects me to love, serve and have joy.

Warning: content not suitable for children

First, I've got to tell you about this great book series our family found. It's called "The Adventures of Ordinary Boy". He lives in a town where everyone has super-powers except for him. And everyone gets named after their super-powers (hence Ordinary Boy). But most of them have pretty lame powers. One of my favorite is Melonhead. His head is actually shaped like a watermelon, he spits seeds all the time, and he thinks he's the greatest thing in the world. And his best friend's name is Stench (no explanation needed hopefully). Anyway, on to my blog.

I decided that if I was to have a super hero name like from the book I would be: "Half-A#* Girl". (And no that would not have anything to do with the way I looked!!)

I just feel like I never really go full out for anything. I can start something and then it just kind of dies. I get all kinds of good ideas and then phllbbbttt . . . nothing ever happens. I do everything just half- a*#! (ok, I'll say way)

In the past I've set goals like:

Learn a new language (I know the words from the first semester of spanish - see here)
Do a triathlon (I bought a swimsuit)
Run a marathon (I ran a 5k)
Be a meteorologist (I have a weather gauge)
Lose 25 lbs (I lost 20)
Give up chocolate (I actually did this for a whole year, so I know I have it in me)
Learn to play the piano (again, since it was only half-a*# the first time)

Now my kids are starting to inherit their mother's super-powers and that is totally not acceptable.

My new years resolution is to do something all the way.

So I can change my super hero name.

Something more suitable for children.

Myrtle Budge

Here's an explanation for my computer name.

Back in the days when I was fun, our group of friends decided to make up names for ourselves.

We had our "cool" name and then we had our "nerd" name.

Our cool name could be whatever we wanted, (mine happened to be Brittney! which could be a whole 'nother blog) but our nerd name had to be the same initials as our own. (My apologies to anyone out there with nerdy names.)

Here are some nerd names I remember:
Delilah Pipin, Sylvia Nixon, Regina Sue.

I'm trying to remember why we did this.

I guess when you are a teenager, you don't really have to have a reason.

But I think it had to do with stake dances.

I think we would use those names when we were asked to dance by boys we didn't know or like.

What's funny is,it's not like we got asked to dance very much anyway.

Maybe these names gave us the idea that we could actually be nerdier than we really were already. Who knows?

But now, I kind of like the name. Unfortunately that might be because it fits me now more than ever.

But also because it brings back great memories.

May Myrtle Budge live on forever!