Here's a discovery that I have made:
My job as mom is not to "fix" my kids and all of their problems.
Because, let me tell you, they have them.
Problems, personality issues, mental challenges, etc.
And when I start to focus on what I need to do to fix these things, it's overwhelming.
But, really, it's not my job to be the fixer.
I really think that my job is to love my children unconditionally and support them as they try to figure out their life.
I can give suggestions and ideas and support, but ultimately its not up to me to fix them. It will be up to them to figure it out.
We all were children at one time. And we all had our issues (we still have our own issues).
But eventually we figured it out, moved on, and became reasonably functioning adults.
And it didn't happen by someone forcing their "fix" on us.
It came about by growing and stretching on our own.
Usually in an environment that fostered that growth.
So my job as a mom is to create that type of environment, where my children feel accepted, see good examples of what they would like to be, and create a desire within to "fix" themselves.
I love this!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I always look to you for parenting advice.
ReplyDeleteOnce again you have taught me something I needed. Thank you. This helps me more than you know!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS! you have now overcome codependence!
ReplyDelete