Thank You

I've been trying out some new parenting skills I've learned. The book I've been reading is, "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Glen Latham.

The idea is that the behaviors you pay the most attention to are the ones that will increase.

So, if I spend all my time yelling at my kids for something they're doing wrong then they actually will continue to do it more. So instead, I've been looking for the positive things to focus on.

This is so hard for me.

Not because my kids aren't doing good things. It's just that I'm such a coach and I want to help them improve. I want to point out what they're doing wrong so they can get better.

Anyway, I've been trying to be more positive. There's been a lot of:

"Thank you for chewing your food quietly."
"Thank you for putting your plate in the dishwasher without being asked."
"Thank you for not slamming that door when you wanted to."
"Thank you for . . ."

It's driving some of my kids (mostly 'A') crazy. "So are you going to be one of those moms that just says nice things all the time?" That was seriously one of her questions. Of course, now she says, "Remember, you're supposed to be positive!"

Well, this all felt very manipulative to me at first. But then I realized it really is just a better environment I'm trying to create.

Yes, I want my kids to behave, but it's more important that they feel loved and appreciated (by the way, a coach would never say that).

So how has it been going?

Things are better. I don't always stick to the game plan, but I hear the words thank you a lot more. And not just from me; from my kids, too. They seem to get along a bit better as well.

But, the crowning moment came when my husband asked our son ('D') to clean up something. The response?

"Thanks for telling me what to clean up Dad."