Choice Experience

Next week I start a new job.

It's been a journey to get here.

I wasn't planning on applying for the job.

My work was finally starting to feel really good.

One day, as I was driving with my husband, I said, "By the way, I'm going to apply for that job."

I hadn't planned on saying that.

But, as soon as I did, I knew that it was right.

So I applied for the job, but didn't care if I got it.

During one of my prayers I felt as if God was asking me if I wanted the job.

My response was, as always, "I want whatever you want for me."

Except, that's not what He asked.

He wanted to know what I wanted.

It was my choice.

That was harder.

It made me think about it more and make decisions.

I realized that I did want the job because of the growth and learning that would come from it.

And I knew that God would take care of any fears or doubt that I had about starting over.

Even after making that decision, I still felt it would be fine either way.

Because I went through that "living discussion" with the Lord, I was able to have the peace I needed when I was offered the job.

It is good to want to do the Lord's will.

But, the whole point of the plan of salvation is to make choices to become more like Him.

And to have experiences to teach us and help us grow.

God helped me learn that by asking me to choose.

I will always choose God.

And I know that He will never leave me alone.

Desire

This week's scripture study has focused a lot on receiving revelation.

That is also something that our prophet has been pleading with us to do - Hear Him.

Today during scripture study the word desire stood out to me.

"And the Lord said unto me: John, my beloved, what desirest thou? for if you shall ask what you will, it shall be granted unto you." D&C 7:1

I have a strong testimony of that.

Way back in 2019, I wrote a blog post about this testimony, when my word for the year was Seek.

I shared then how the Lord has always blessed me when I have been seeking for a desire that included a way for me to serve others. (piano playing, family history, etc)

But, what about now?

What is it I desire?

In 2011, President Oaks gave a talk titled Desire.

He said:

 "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."

It seems like I have been going at this backwards.

My focus is more on my actions; just going through the motions.

What I need to do is think about my desires first to help me with my choices.

I have a new determination to figure out what it is I desire right now.

For now, this scripture expresses what I hope for:

"Behold, thou are Marla[Oliver], and I have spoken unto thee because of thy desires; therefore treasure up these words in thy heart. Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love." D&C 6:20

Making My Bed

My life often seems hectic and a bit out of control.

There's constantly something on my checklist that needs to get done.

As I begin to feel overwhelmed, there's always one was to calm myself.

Making my bed.

I have not always been a bed maker.

It just never seemed that important.

Now, I understand the power that comes from having a made bed.

For me, seeing a made bed in the middle of all the other "to-do" things brings me peace.

It lets me know that I have at least accomplished that much today.

Making my bed is a little thing.

But, "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass". (Alma 37:6)

COVID-19 Schedule

I thought that I would post the schedule that is currently working for my family.

The ages of my kids are 18, 16, 12, 10.

I have always been a schedule person (see here).

5:30am-8:00am - Mom time (this is when I exercise, read scriptures, pray, get ready, etc)
8:00am - Breakfast
8:30am - Family scriptures
9:00am-11:00am - School work
          -Snack break-
More school
12:00pm - Exercise time
12:30pm - Lunch
1:00pm-2:30pm - Quiet Time
2:30pm - Zone cleaning
          -Snack break-
3:00pm-6:00pm - Project time/other school/free time
6:00pm - Dinner
They take turns picking a movie or show to watch every night after the kitchen/dinner is all cleaned up. As long as they got all of the necessary school work done.
9:00pm - Bedtime

It's working pretty good for us so far.

I'll post more about each block another time.

I'm trying to post a little bit more to record memories of this time.

Broken Pieces

Here is my scripture thought this week from studying. 

This part in Acts kept reminding me of a talk I thought I had heard somewhere, but I couldn't find a reference anywhere. So, I made up my own.

Acts 27:43-44

43 But the centurion, willing to save Paul, kept them from their purpose; and commanded that they which could swim should cast themselves first into the sea, and get to land:
44 And the rest, some on boards, and some on broken pieces of the ship. And so it came to pass, that they escaped all asafe to land.

The Lord had promised that they all would live.

Some were strong enough to swim to shore.

But some had to use boards or broken pieces to make it.


I imagine using a board to get to land would not be as fast as swimming.

And I'm sure I would not feel in control of the situation.



There are sometimes, in life, when I feel strong enough to accomplish what is needed.

I can "swim and get to land".

But there are lots of other times when I feel that the only way I can make it is by clinging to broken pieces or boards; barely surviving.

I just have to hold on and hope I make it.


Either way, the Lord will fulfill His promises.

He will help me get "asafe to land".

I know He will.


Another thought:

Even if I'm a "broken piece", I can still help others around me.

This accomplishes the Lord's promises, too.

Summer Schedule

I've been a bit anxious about school ending.

I'm definitely tired of sending my kids out every morning and the rush/hassle it is.

But, I've been feeling a bit lost about what happens next.

This will be my 3rd summer that I am working part-time while my kids are home. And I'm still trying to get the hang of it.

I finally sat down the other night and got my plan figured out.  In case anyone is wondering why I do this, you can read this old post.

I'm sharing my schedule on this blog in hopes that others will join me - I've always thought, the more the merrier.

5:45 am - walking

7:15 am or so - check in at work

8:00 am - family scriptures

8:30 - 9:30am - breakfast/get ready/morning chores/personal scripture study

Play time!!!

1:30 pm - ? work

6:00 pm - dinner

7:00 pm - evening/kitchen chores

read out-loud book

9:00 pm - bedtime

Monday - Homeschool Day/Library

Temple Tuesday - (little kids watch a movie? or do a trade with another family?)

Friendsday Wednesday - play group/park day/etc.

Thursday - Shopping/One-on-one time/Kids Cleaning Day

Friday Funday - Field trip/Hiking

Saturday - Outdoor (work on house or play!!) 

I'm so lucky that I have the job I have. It is so flexible. 

Which I know I will have to be this summer.

I have grand ideas of what our summer will be like. 

But, even if it doesn't turn out just so, at least I have a foundation to work with.

Power vs. Control

I think I write a lot about how my life feels out of control.

And I'm always looking for the next "gimmick" that will help me get control of things.

It could be new chore charts for the kids, a new diet, a new cleaning schedule, etc.

It's my way of trying to insert some control into my life.

These gimmicks usually don't last a long time.

The desire for control can cause frustration because there are actually very few things that I have control over.

I can't control the weather, the bad stuff in the world, or even the choices my children make.

This can then lead me to look for an escape that gives me a kind of counterfeit control.

Computer games, watching movies all day, social media.

I can control what I watch or I can control my time as I choose.


But, what I really need is not control - it is power.

 
The purpose of life is not to control all things.

It is to learn to be obedient.

"And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them."  Abraham 3:25

When I am obedient, God blesses and prospers me.  Mosiah 2:22

He gives me power to accomplish what He wants me to do. 1 Nephi 3:7

Power comes when I choose the right.

 It is a gift from God.

 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:5

He wants to give me power.

His power.

And through that power I can accomplish amazing things.

The Good Part

My life is crazy.

It has been for a long time.

Recently, it got more crazy when I started working outside of my home.

I am a focused person and I do great when I have one thing that I can focus on completely.

For the last 18 years or so, my main focus has been on my family.

But, throw a new job in there and all of a sudden I have to focus on that, too.

So, I did what I always do when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I made a list.

I listed all of the things that I need, or want, or have to do.

Things like: make dinner, family prayer, visit neighbors, read scriptures, church calling, work, volunteer, read books, clean the house, work in the yard, etc.

I filled an entire page with tasks.

Then, I numbered them according to importance in my life.

I came up with about 7 different levels of priorities.

It has been life changing in helping me focus on what is important.

I found that my natural instinct, when I'm overwhelmed, is to start focusing on things that are lower on my priority list - like decorating my house, or landscaping my yard.

And that even though my job is a high time commitment, it's not in my top levels of priorities.

Then there are those times when I'm having a good day and feel like I have a handle on things. I can go to my list to know what I need to focus on next.


My number one priority category has only  3 tasks in it:

Listen to the Spirit
Read/Study my scriptures
Personal prayers

That's it.

When I start to feel overwhelmed with all that I need to be doing, I stop and focus on that top priority. 

Have I prayed today? Have I studied my scriptures? Am I trying to feel the Spirit?

If I can answer yes to those three questions, then I'm good.

This scripture (Luke 10:42) has always stood out to me:

 41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Those three things are the good part that I choose. 

Addiction

Tetris. Solitaire. Candy Crush. Temple Run. Dots. Sudoku.

Computer games. (Not just for computers anymore.)

I can't have them on my computer or phone.

I'm one of those people with an addictive personality.

I talk to my kids about it, because I'm pretty sure I've passed the gene down to them.

Because of this personality, it's just better to not even get started on some things.

When I do start something, it's hard to stop.

Although this is embarrassing and overly dramatic, I've been feeling that I need to share some of my thought process:

It's not that big of a deal.
Everyone else can do this and they don't seem to have a problem controlling it.
This is great.
I feel like I'm doing good this time.
It's not a problem.

Then:
I should probably stop.
I've got a lot of things I should take care of.

It progresses to:
Why can't I stop.
Everything is in a daze.
I just want to go back to doing that.
When I'm doing that I don't have to worry about anything else.
My family is keeping me from doing what I want and what makes me happy.
Could everyone just leave me alone for a while.

And then:
Why does my life seem to be falling apart.
I just need my own space.
But, I don't want to stop.
Then I have to face all of this other stress in my life.

Until finally:
Why can't I stop this.
I know it is hurting me and my family.
I need help.

The image in my mind is falling down a well.

For me, cold turkey is the only way to go.

I have to hit the uninstall button.

And that's when:

Life is so much brighter.
I love my family.
I can do hard things.

But, why am I able to stop, ever?

Faith saves me.

Not just believing.

I can't stop myself from falling.

I hit a hard brick floor and it hurts.

Bricks of personal prayer, scripture study, etc.

It is the bricks that stop me from falling forever.

Jesus Christ is my stonemason.

HE is the light at the bottom of my well.

And the light at the top that I seek.

HE helps me build the bricks into what I need.

Sometimes that is a floor to stop me.

Or a wall to protect me.

And eventually, if I keep adding to the bricks, I know that HE will build for me a mansion in heaven.

Enough

I have always been a competitive person.  

In fact, it's one of the things that I struggle with in homeschooling; there is no one to compare my children to so I can tell how they are doing.

Since my children are all on different levels of learning and, in fact, have way different personalities from each other, I can't compare them to each other. 

Lately, the problem I've had with being so competitive is that I end up comparing my life to others' as a measure of how I'm doing.

And then when I fall short, or see that I am not as good as someone else, I get down on myself.

So, why do I think I need to be better than others at anything?  And why do I think my children need to be the best?

What is wrong with being ordinary?

President Boyd K. Packer gave a fantastic talk in October 2007 General Conference called "The Weak and Simple of the Church".  My favorite quote from that was:

"And so the Church moves on. It is carried upon the shoulders of worthy members living ordinary lives among ordinary families, guided by the Holy Ghost and the Light of Christ, which is in them."

I want to be ordinary.

And I believe that's all my Father in Heaven wants as well.

He's not expecting fantastic things.  

He's not expecting me to be better than anyone else.  

We are all his children and just like I can't compare any of my children to their siblings because they are all different, He won't compare me to any of my brothers and sisters.

He just wants me to learn, to love, to have joy.

To live an ordinary life.

That doesn't mean I shouldn't have goals to work on; ways that I can improve myself.  But, if I can make it through each day just doing small, ordinary acts of kindness, that is enough.  

There's no reason to believe that what I am right now is not enough to bless other people.  

Just an ordinary mom and daughter of God is enough.
 
I am enough.

Finished

Well, I made it through my blog marathon.  I posted for 26 days in a row.

And although I have only run a half-marathon, I think I experienced some of the same emotions during this writing period.

I started off feeling great about this goal that I had set for myself.  And it really didn't seem that hard.

As time went on, I started to realize how long this was really going to be and that it was going to take a lot of effort to do it.  But, I still believed as long as I just worked hard I would be ok.

But, then I got to a point where I just didn't know what to write about at all.  It was like hitting a wall.  And I couldn't have made it without having someone actually help me along (using my husband's speech).

It was then that I finally was able to see the end of the tunnel.  I realized that I could make it the last little bit.  And in some ways it almost got easy again.

English was never my favorite subject in school and I have never considered myself a writer.    But, as I looked back on my month's work, I realized that maybe I was.


I think this probably always happens when I am trying to make changes in my life or set goals for myself.  I get kind of excited at the beginning and have a lot of motivation to make it happen.

Then, once I'm in the middle of it I start to realize how much work it is really going to take.  This is where I have to decide to either give up or push through it.

And there is always the point when l realize that I just cannot do it on my own.  I need help.  This is when I have to turn it completely over to the Lord.

Finally, I realize that I am almost finished and at this point it has become so much a part of me that it's almost easy.  And I have added a new level to my life, to my faith.

But, the thing is, I am never really finished.  

There will always be things that I need and want to improve.  Attributes of Christ that I need to make more a part of me.

Realizing that there will be hard times and I'll need help and that it will eventually just become a part of me, will help me make it through.

My Older Brother

Do you know what makes me happy?

The fact that my brother reads my blog.

Even if he does make fun of me sometimes and posts snarky comments.

I have always wanted to be just like him.

When I served a mission in California, I had a chance to work with the Laotion people for a short time.

We were visiting this one family and the husband kept looking at my name tag that said, "Sister Banks".

They had been baptized a while ago, but hadn't been to church for a long time.

I asked where they were baptized and they told me Seattle, WA. 

Well, that just happened to be where my brother served his mission 9 years earlier.

I asked what missionaries taught them and the husband said, "Elder Banks".

I couldn't believe it! 

My brother had taught this family the gospel and helped them be baptized.  (He also translated in the hospital when their youngest daughter was born.  I think they even said that he helped name her.)

Now here I was, helping this family, just like my brother had done.

It was as if I was being given the chance to help my brother finish what he had started.

I felt so close to my brother and so much joy.


I have another "Older Brother" who I want to be like more than anything .

And I have the chance to help Him in the work that He has already started.

If I want to feel close to Him then I need to serve those He loves.

And if it brought me so much joy to help my older brother, it's hard to imagine the joy that will come when I do His work.

Teach, Train, Practice

I've been reading a new parenting book that has helped me focus on the purpose of teaching kids how to work.

I've mostly made my kids work because there's just a lot of work to be done in a family of 9.

I also knew that I wanted them to have the habit of hard work for when they got older.

But I'm learning that it's not just about work.  It's also about training my kids to do certain things.

Instead of just saying "go vacuum your room", I have to first teach them how to do it.

Then I have to follow this with a training period where I am make sure that they are doing it right.

Later, I get to give them lots of practice in vacuuming.

Here's how that looks like in my home right now:

• The 3 year old is in the midst of "practicing" telling when he has to use the bathroom.  From there we'll move on to some more training, then practicing in that particular area.

• My 5 year old is learning how to make her own breakfast.  We've got the toast thing down and now she's moved up to microwaved oatmeal.  I walked her through the steps and then I shadowed her as she did it.  Now she can pretty much do it on her own.  But I also have her make her little brother's oatmeal, too, for practice.

• My 9 year old is learning how to make salads.  At first it was just tearing up lettuce and washing it.  Then we moved on to cutting up tomatoes and cucumbers.  Now, I am putting her in charge of choosing the salads she wants to make with dinner, as well.  (I hope she'll be more likely to eat the salad if she's making it.) 

• I know we're kind of late to the game here, but I'm working on general hygiene with my 11 year old boy.  Things like the proper way to clean yourself in the shower; how to put on deodorant; nail care; and other bathroom issues.  I never really thought about actually teaching this stuff. I guessed that they would eventually just figure it out on their own.  But, I think I read that it actually takes 8 teaching times to learn a skill.

• My almost 13 year old boy wants/needs to learn to wake up on his own.  Right now, he's doing a good job of waking up the first time I tell him to get up, but we're going to get an alarm and then see if we can figure out a consequence/motivation for him to do it on his own. Then he can practice this for the rest of his life.

• My 14 year old daughter is going to learn how to iron.  Since she's gone to school all day, this will be a weekend training thing.  But, then she'll get lots of practice every Saturday for at least a few months.

• Finally, my 16 year old wants to learn how to make Sunday dinners.  She already knows how to do most stuff in the kitchen so I think this means letting her do it all on her own.  But, it will take some patience on my part to let her.

That's really the whole thing.  It would be much easier if I just continued to do these things myself instead of walking my kids through the steps over and over again.

But I want my children to be responsible adults with the necessary skills to survive thrive.

Having this sense of purpose to all the work I do, helps me feel good about being deep in the trenches of motherhood.

Daily Scrum

My husband got this idea from some managerial techniques that he had read about.

Basically, you get together and tell everyone what you have accomplished that day.  And then what you plan on doing next.

Our idea for starting it came from the fact that some of our kids complain that we make them do everything! all the time!

But, then sometimes, when we ask them what they have done that day they'll say, nothing!

So, sometime at dinner, we ask them two questions, "what did you get done today? what will you get done tomorrow?"

They don't really want to say nothing because then they can't complain later that we make them do everything!

I thought that the main benefit from doing this would be that my kids would be more motivated to get stuff done.

And there has been some of that.

What I didn't realize, was how helpful it would be for me.

Sometimes by the end of the day, when my house is a disaster;
and there's laundry to be folded;
and dishes to be done;
and a million other things that I didn't get done;
I wonder, "what did I do all day long"

But, as I go through "the scrum" I realize, "wow, I did accomplish some stuff today."

And it's actually some pretty important stuff like teaching my children, and feeding them, and loving on them.   
 
And because I feel better about myself, I'm more likely to get that other stuff done.  

It's always better to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on negatives.

Hooray for Daily Scrum!

Finding Inspiration

Sometimes I simmer around ideas for several days, weeks or months before I'm ready to put into words what I've been thinking about.

Sometimes an idea will just pop into my head and I'll write about it.

Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out what to write I draw a complete blank.

I try to feel inspired when I'm writing and I said out loud today to my husband, "why shouldn't I be able to get inspiration about things to write about?"

His response, "because you always get whatever you want?"

Did you know that just because I want something bad enough, even if it is a good thing, doesn't mean I will always get it?

Duh.

I like to think that the Lord will bless me with needed inspiration whenever I want it, but the truth is that He works on His timing, not mine.

Here's an example: 

This summer I kept seeking inspiration on our job search.  I had already told the Lord that I would go wherever we were needed. 

But couldn't I just get a little inspiration on where that was. 

Or even more importantly, when that was? 

If I just knew how long it was going to take, then I would be able to deal with it so much better.  I would have some kind of deadline to work towards.

Looking back now,  I think if I had known how long it would take to get a job I probably would not have started homeschooling.

And I know that I would not have grown closer to the Lord through my pleadings. 

I would not have had the same gratitude and humility from knowing how many people were praying for us.

In other words, I would not have had the experiences that I needed to grow. (I wish that growing was easier.)

Now I can say that I feel extremely grateful for that time.

I recognize that a lot of my growth has come from other times when I've been searching for inspiration and I have felt like I was on my own.

When I say on my own, I don't mean alone.

I know that the Lord is always with me.  

If inspiration doesn't come it's not because the Lord is too busy to help me out.

And it's not because I am not showing enough obedience to get what I want.

Sometimes it is just. hard. work.
  
And the inspiration that I think I need, will actually be recognizing what I have learned from that hard work.

Re-Post: Life is A Battlefield

I'm going to be totally lame because it's Saturday and I want need to get as much stuff done as possible.  So I'm re-posting one of my kids' favorite.  (Ok, it's one of my favorites too and it may or may not also still be applicable today.)

Slowly she creeps across the bleak landscape. Wary and unsure of her next step.

Visions of her partner's battle wound press into her mind. The scar will always be there as a reminder.

Some have no problem navigating through the area. And yet, for her, each step is a painful reminder of what once was.

There are those who would gladly do the job for the right compensation. But with no resources it is up to her, and her alone.

If only.

No, those thoughts must not be allowed to take over. She must live in the present and deal with what is before her.

Questions will only lead to distractions.

Distractions lead to neglect.

Neglect leads to, well, to this.

Eventually all of this must stop.

Bravely she stoops down.

Carefully, carefully.

She reaches for the nearest object, avoiding the urge to look around too much. Then slowly she stands again.

One down, who knows how many more to go.

Anyone feel like cleaning up my living room for me?

Stretching

I love exercising.

It just makes me feel so good, so alive.

I love working up a sweat and feeling like I'm accomplishing something.  I love taking care of my body.

But, I have to admit that it is really hard work. 

And I have to really make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

One thing that really motivates me?

The cool-down stretch.

It is my favorite part.

I never stretch out before I exercise; it just feels wrong and too tight.

But, after I'm all warmed up and kinda beat - it is the best feeling in the world.

I love taking time to think about what I just accomplished. 

And I love noticing that I can stretch just a little bit further than I did the last time.


I just realized today that I can relate this to my life.

Being obedient/having faith makes me feel good.

But, it is hard work and I have to make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

So what motivates me to do it?

The stretching.

When I'm going through hard times I don't often think about how good it feels.

But, when I look back at these experiences and I can see how far I've come, it feels great.

And that is the best feeling in the world - becoming who God wants me to be.

Running Hills (part 1)

So, I've been doing it all wrong.

Last year, when I was training for my half marathon, I avoided hills. 

The problem is we kind of live on the top of one. 

To really go any kind of distance I'd have to go down one. But, I'd have someone come pick me up so I wouldn't have to go back up.

When I did have to go up one I'd make a really big deal out of it.  I'd hype myself up for days.   

I think it was because I had set a goal during training and the actual race, to never walk.  And even though I could mostly make it up a hill running, I would be dying by the flat part at the top. 

Unfortunately, there was this hill near the end of the half-marathon.  And it just about killed me. 

Going up was fine, but I could barely make it the last mile and a half on the flat part.

A wise friend of mine (and a really good runner) told me she walked the hill since she didn't want to be dead for the last part.

What a concept!  You mean, you could walk during a race?  Why hadn't I thought of that?  Why did I think that walking was against the rules?  More specifically, my rules?
 
This year as I started running I decided I wanted to do hills.  Even if I was just going to walk up them.  I gave myself permission to just take it easy and not care if I walked a little. 

And now guess what?  I do hills.  Lots of them.  And I'm not even walking most of them.  I will sometimes walk a little when I get to the top just to catch my breath.  But mostly, I just keep running. 

And here's where I figure out what I was doing wrong. 

I would get myself all psyched out for these hills.  I'd look at them and think I can't make it up there.  Or I'd think about how tired it would make me by the top of the hill. 

Then, while I was running, I would keep looking at how far I had to go and how steep it was.  Definitely the wrong way to go about it. 

Now, when I come to a hill, I tell myself, "let's just see how far we can make it", or "I'll walk when I get done with this hard part". 

Then I just put my head down and watch my feet and maybe a little bit in front of me.  I hardly ever look up.  I might take a glance about halfway to the top. 

But if I'm just watching my feet and pushing along it doesn't seem steep at all, it just happens to be where I am.

Now, here's where I do my analogy thing. 

I've been struggling this summer with what seems like this giant hill in my life.  It's unavoidable. And I keep looking at it thinking, how am I supposed to do this. 

I need to give myself permission to "walk up this hill" if I need to.  There is no shame in that.

Then I need to put my head down and keep moving.  Focus on what is right in front of me, not what is coming up and may be really hard.  This is just where I am.

So even though I don't really want to say, "Give me more hills!"  I finally am feeling like I can make it through all of this.

And you know it is a fabulous feeling to get to the top of those hills!

Job Hunt

At first I thought finding a job was a little like trying to get married.

It was so exciting to think about the future and what it would be like.

Then after a while you start thinking that maybe there's not just one special one out there waiting for you. 

You would be happy with any good one; but a lot happier with a right one.


Now, I'm beginning to feel that our job search is more like being pregnant.

It's pretty exciting at first.  But towards the end you just feel tired and apathetic.  And you just want to get it over with.  And you start to think that it's never really going to happen.


Who knows, maybe a few more months of job hunting will feel like something else.

I'm hoping for a graduation type feeling and not a death.

Amulet

n: An ornament or small piece of jewelry thought to give protection against evil, danger, or disease.

I have one.

It mostly just sits around on the desk in my bedroom.

But there are some nights when I've been having a bad day. I'm just tired, worn out, frustrated over life.

And I'll see it there and put it on and it seems that for a moment all is right with the world.

Now I don't believe in "magical" objects. But I do believe in power.

Especially the power the mind has over the body.

It's become a bit of a joke for me to sit down at the desk, start complaining, see it there, put it on, and say, " oh yeah, now everything is going to be ok. This is just what I needed."

I am superwoman when I wear it. All is right in the world.

I feel like I have to be careful not to wear it all the time or it may lose its power over me.

I wear it just long enough to get that "I can do this now!" feeling.


Why do I feel so good when I put it on?


My amulet came from a race I did this summer.

I worked really hard training for that race.

But when the race was over, it was somewhat of a letdown. There was no immediate runners high for me. It was just over.

But each time I put on that medal amulet, I guess a small part of me remembers what a hard thing it was that I did.

And if I did that, then I can do anything, right?

Its powerful.

And its all in my head.

But that's where I really need the most power.

Because even though I'm not running long distances all day long, I am raising children.

And dealing with teenagers and the emotional issues that sometimes come with that.

And trying to keep a house clean.

And trying to improve myself a little each day.

So, its nice to have a little something that I can look at or wear to remind me of what I am capable of.

(And to laugh at myself as well.)


The mind is a powerful thing.