I am a zookeeper.
And I don't just mean that my house is a zoo.
Or looks like one.
Or smells like one. (I still remember my cousin's daughter looking into our car after a road trip and saying, "it smells like animals!")
I'm talking about my parenting style.
Have you heard about this book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua?
It's basically an explanation of a Chinese parenting method which produces successful tiger children.
Well, the other day on facebook a friend posted a link called Against Tiger Mothers.
It's the opposite view of the parenting method. He advances the idea of coyote parenting.
The idea being that tigers are the "specialists" and that coyotes are the "generalists" in our world.
I like both ideas.
Some of the children I raise will be tigers.
And some of them are definitely coyotes.
But, at least one of them might be a koala.
Sometimes it takes a while to see what animal they are.
That's my job as the zookeeper.
Figuring out what animal my child is and then following the appropriate "raising" technique.
Being a zookeeper is definitely not easy.
There are so many different kinds of animals.
In fact, in my zoo there are no two animals of the same kind.
But that's what makes a zoo great; the variety.
(And the variety is what makes it so loud, and messy, and smelly!)
Love it. My husband was raised that way. There was no 'fair'. Not everyone got the same thing, or treatment. Each child got what they needed. I try to be that way. We'll see how I fare as they get older. Sunny
ReplyDeleteI read the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. I'm like you, I can see both sides, but I hope that my parenting style will be more like yours with the emphasis on understanding and love. Your kids are well behaved, and I became aware many years ago that you were tuned in to your children, not as a group, but as individuals. I don't imagine it would work so well to shove all your kids in the same box. You're a great model for a mom! Don't think we haven't noticed or made notes.
ReplyDeleteZookeeper. I have thought of myself that way before but I like the reasoning you just put behind it, filling and nurturing the many needs of individuals whose styles can differ so greatly. I'll have to remember this one.
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