Work = Joy

Making friends is hard work.

And it gets harder the older I get.

It seemed so easy when I was younger.

It just happened.

I had great friends in high school and college.

Then life moved on.

Even as a young mom it was easy to make friends because what else was there to do except hang out with each other and talk about our "experiences".

I've always envied those women who have lived in the same place for a long time.

I imagine it would be easier to transition from that young mom time to busy life and still keep your friends.

Whenever I've moved its been harder to make friends with people my age.

And its not because people are not nice.

It's just that life is so much busier with older and more kids.

It really takes an effort to put myself out there and make friends.

Its just easier to deal with my own life and be alone.

But women friends are necessary for my growth.

So making friends, as uncomfortable as it is at first, is worth it to me.

Every time I have moved somewhere and put myself out there I have found other women willing to do the same.

It just takes some work.

But the pay-off for me is huge.

Yesterday I went on a hiking adventure with 3 other women and their families.

I think the kids had fun.

But, mostly for me, it was about making new friends.

Friendship, like anything else that takes work, brings me joy.

Women & Mothers

I love mother's day.

I was not the most girly-girl growing up. I was really a tomboy and I liked to hang with the guys.

It is through being a mother that I have learned about being a woman. To celebrate the more female qualities within me. To learn to be selfless. To learn to serve and to love unconditionally.

As I lay in bed this morning waiting for the kids to bring me breakfast in bed, I had time to think about mother's day and what it really means to me.

I thought about my cousin who had a baby born still two days ago.

I thought of another cousin who has not had children of her own, but is raising her sister's kids for her and doing an awesome job.

I thought of my friend who has not yet married but has mothered hundreds of young women.

I thought of my friend who worried she would never get the chance to be a mother and is now raising 4 beautiful children.

I thought of another cousin who is waiting for someone to choose her to be a mother.

And I especially thought of my own mother.

I think mother's day is really a day to celebrate womanhood.

I believe that all women have this divine gift to nurture, to love and to teach. And every woman has a choice to share this gift with others, no matter what her situation.

But it is not always easy.

It did not feel like a divine gift as I was cleaning the "garf" off the floor of the kitchen and myself; and washing sheets that were "wet".

Sometimes it's just plain hard.

But it is still a gift to share.

I love being a mother.

And I love being a woman.

And on this day I am thankful for all the women in my life who have taught me by example what these titles really mean.

Kind of Personal

I've been on my get-healthy/weight-loss journey for almost 4 months now.

I knew what I wanted to do and even how to do it.

But it has seemed to take forever.

I started out exercising by running for 1 minute/walking for 2 min for a total of 20 minutes.

Then increasing that running time each week until I could run 20 minutes without stopping.

I lost 10 lbs in the first 3 weeks.

Since then, it has been a 1 lb a week loss (maybe).

I lift weights 3 times a week and eat 5 times a day and drink tons of water.

I signed up for a half marathon because there is a great one where I live and its been on my "list" for a very long time now.

I've gotten discouraged thinking how I'm supposed to run 13 miles or more than 2 hours when I'm not even running 2 miles yet and only 20 min. at a time.

But the big turning point came the other night.

I have always hated feeling fat.

And feeling out of shape.

The other night I said out loud: "I'm not fat any more."

Not - "I don't feel fat, or I don't look fat".

Just, "I'm not fat."

That's huge for me.

That's a completely different emotion than feeling or looking.

It's a real thing.

And now I realize that I can do this.

I am doing this.

I pulled out the 15 lbs dumbbells for some of my exercises.

I am only 10 lbs away from my super goal weight.

I ran 3 miles this morning.

I have 18 weeks until my race.

I will be ready.

This is what life is.

Little steps leading to bigger plans.

Not always seeing results, but still changing along the way anyway.

I can't wait to see where this leads me.

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Few things drive me crazier than when I hear a kid say, I'll never get it done!

Or, it's too hard.

Really, what is the point?


One of my favorite classes I took in college was a Stress Management Class.

And other than breaking a board "with my hand" for the final, probably the best part for me was when they taught about self-talk.

During that class I realized that all that grumbling inside is useless.

Since then I have become a true believer in saying positive things to myself.

It's the whole "little engine that could" moral.

I think I can, I thought I could, I knew I could.



Well, it's kind of morphed into a self-promoting attitude.

Good job on dinner!

Hey, I cleaned all the toilets today - hooray for me!

Do you guys know how awesome I am; I ran for 12 minutes without stopping this morning!


I tell my kids all the time - you have to be your own cheerleader because you can't wait around for other people to do it.

I mean, it's nice if others notice your hard work, but really, just plan on cheering for yourself.


I think it is starting to rub off on my kids.

Yea, I got all my homework done!

I'm awesome because I'm done with my jobs!

I rock!


This is the kind of stuff I love to hear.

Invention

def: invent \in-'vent\ 1. to think up 2. to create or produce for the first time

I like that definition.

Especially the second one.

This is the first time in my life when I've had toddlers, not been pregnant, and had children old enough to babysit.

All at the same time.

It's like a new me.

I find myself asking, "who am I?"

Or better yet, "who do I want to be?"

I know that I will always be the same person inside; but I have a desire to improve parts of me.

To create or produce for the first time some part of me that has not been there before.

I've thought about my friends whose lives have not turned out they way they expected.

Marriages came late.

Babies came late and in different ways.

There's never enough money.

Divorce.

And I've thought about how they've had to re-invent themselves from being one type of person to now being something totally different.

That must be hard.

I guess my life is not like I imagined it would be either.

I'm not living with all of the comforts of life that I expected.

But I wouldn't change any of it.

It's the process that has changed me and made me who I am.

The process of inventing a new part of me.

It is sometimes really hard and not always pleasant.

So, what quality or trait will I produce from this new time in my life?

I think its one of those things that I won't know until I'm looking back.

That's ok.

In the meantime I will invent.