On the Road to Emmaus

This is probably one of my favorite stories in the New Testament.

It's found in Luke 24.

Mary and other women had been to the sepulchre and saw that Christ was not there.

An angel testified to them that He was risen and told them to tell His disciples.

After being told of this miraculous event and not believing it, two of His disciples walked to a village.

And they talked while they walked; trying to figure everything out.

While they were talking, Jesus joined them.

But "their eyes were holden that they should not know him."

And He asked them to explain to Him what they were discussing and why they were sad.

They couldn't believe that He hadn't heard everything that had happened in Jerusalem recently.

So they explained to Him what they believed had happened and what they had hoped would happen.

His response was to teach them and expound scriptures to them.

As they came closer to the village (which was more than seven miles away) it seemed that Jesus was going to keep walking.

They still did not know who was walking with them but they "constrained him, saying Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent."

Can you imagine being taught by Jesus for that entire seven mile walk?

Of course, they wanted Him to abide with them.

But, it wasn't until after Jesus had broken bread with them that their eyes were opened and they knew Him.

What was their response?

They immediately went back to Jerusalem.

And they found the other disciples and "told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread."

There are times when my eyes are "holden" or restrained from seeing the Savior in my life.

Could it be that He wants me to talk to Him about what I know and what I'm hoping for?

Not being able to see Jesus doesn't mean that He isn't walking with me.

He is always there asking me what I'm worrying about or why I'm sad.

Asking me what I believe so He can teach me.

But, I have to take the time to hear Him.

So, if I study His words in the scriptures with a purpose, it becomes different than just reading the scriptures.

That is when my heart burns and I lose track of time and I want Him to abide with me.

I feel like I could "walk" forever if I were just able to keep that feeling with me.

The gospel word for that is endure.

But, how do I know Jesus?

When are my eyes opened so I can see Him.

On Sunday, I get to break bread with Jesus.

When I take the sacrament I promise to remember Him always.

And His promise is that I can have His Spirit with me always.

If I take the time to reflect on my weekly journey, I see Christ.

This is how I know Jesus.

I know that He died for me.

I know that He loves me.

I see Him.

And just like his disciples I want to share that with everyone.

Jesus Christ lives!

Angel Verses

A friend shared with me something she learned during her study of  the Savior's Atonement last week.

Jesus asked His disciples to watch with Him and yet He found them sleeping.

She thought about how alone He must have felt.

Then in Luke 22:43, it says that "there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him."

This friend talked about having a day recently where she just felt broken and alone.

And she was pleading with God in prayer for help.

Later, as she was reading her scriptures, she felt very strongly that the verses were exactly what God wanted her to read.

As she told me this story, she said, "I know it wasn't an angel appearing like the scriptures describe, but it was a strength to me when I felt alone like the Savior must have."

My heart was touched and I immediately thought of the scripture in the Book of Mormon.

Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.  2 Nephi 32:3

An angel did strengthen her!

The words of Jesus Christ in the scriptures is how angels can speak to us.

I have had many times when a scripture has spoken directly to my heart.

When I have read something that is an answer to a particular struggle I'm having.

And I love the idea of those times being when an angel is speaking to me. 

Strengthening me.

D&C 88:74 - Personal Study

 "And I give unto you, who are the first laborers in this last kingdom, a commandment that you assemble yourselves together, and organize yourselves, and prepare yourselves, and sanctify yourselves; yea, purify your hearts, and cleanse your hands and your feet before me, that I may make you clean;"

This is the scripture that stands out to me today.

Here are my thoughts on it:

1. Assemble - I need to be where I'm supposed to be.

2. Organize - Everything has a rule. I need to make sure I know what the rules are; I want to understand God's laws.

3. Prepare - I need to soften my heart and focus on God's will not my will.

4. Sanctify - One definition of this word is 'to make binding'. I need to remember my covenants.

5. Purify & Cleanse - I need to repent often and come into Christ.

 

Desire

This week's scripture study has focused a lot on receiving revelation.

That is also something that our prophet has been pleading with us to do - Hear Him.

Today during scripture study the word desire stood out to me.

"And the Lord said unto me: John, my beloved, what desirest thou? for if you shall ask what you will, it shall be granted unto you." D&C 7:1

I have a strong testimony of that.

Way back in 2019, I wrote a blog post about this testimony, when my word for the year was Seek.

I shared then how the Lord has always blessed me when I have been seeking for a desire that included a way for me to serve others. (piano playing, family history, etc)

But, what about now?

What is it I desire?

In 2011, President Oaks gave a talk titled Desire.

He said:

 "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."

It seems like I have been going at this backwards.

My focus is more on my actions; just going through the motions.

What I need to do is think about my desires first to help me with my choices.

I have a new determination to figure out what it is I desire right now.

For now, this scripture expresses what I hope for:

"Behold, thou are Marla[Oliver], and I have spoken unto thee because of thy desires; therefore treasure up these words in thy heart. Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love." D&C 6:20

Family Scripture Study

Oops, looks like I skipped over our family scripture study.

The thing is, I am definitely not an expert in this.

We have tried LOTS of different ways to do this.

For sure, morning time works best for us.

By night time, my mom hat/patience is almost gone.

I just want everyone to go to bed.

And I am a believer in letting kids sleep as long as possible.

So, I put off doing early morning scriptures for a long time.

Notice I said "kids" in the previous sentence.

Teenagers are not kids!

When I had kids start high school, we started doing scripture study at 6:30am.

We do that all during the school year.

And then I've always struggled where to fit scripture study in during the summer.

I usually get up and exercise and go to work for a short time and the kids sleep until I get home around 8:30.

Though there have been some summers when I still woke the kids up at 6:30 so my husband could join us.

Ha! There was some rebellion.

Now, that there is not a school schedule to adjust to, I decided to do the 8:30 time.

But, I wake the kids up 30 minutes before for breakfast and getting ready.

Our scripture study goes much better when they are awake.

That being said, what does it really mean that scripture study goes better?

We go back and forth between taking turns reading out loud in chronological order and trying to have kids read before and then having a discussion.

Having the Come Follow Me program has helped us a lot.

I'd love to say that every scripture study is spiritually fulfilling.

But the truth is, I probably only feel the spirit during scripture study hopefully once a week; maybe less.

To me, the important part of scripture study is developing the habit.

I want my kids to know its important to me to make it a priority.

And maybe when they are older, they will remember the importance and make it a habit in their own families.

Broken Pieces

Here is my scripture thought this week from studying. 

This part in Acts kept reminding me of a talk I thought I had heard somewhere, but I couldn't find a reference anywhere. So, I made up my own.

Acts 27:43-44

43 But the centurion, willing to save Paul, kept them from their purpose; and commanded that they which could swim should cast themselves first into the sea, and get to land:
44 And the rest, some on boards, and some on broken pieces of the ship. And so it came to pass, that they escaped all asafe to land.

The Lord had promised that they all would live.

Some were strong enough to swim to shore.

But some had to use boards or broken pieces to make it.


I imagine using a board to get to land would not be as fast as swimming.

And I'm sure I would not feel in control of the situation.



There are sometimes, in life, when I feel strong enough to accomplish what is needed.

I can "swim and get to land".

But there are lots of other times when I feel that the only way I can make it is by clinging to broken pieces or boards; barely surviving.

I just have to hold on and hope I make it.


Either way, the Lord will fulfill His promises.

He will help me get "asafe to land".

I know He will.


Another thought:

Even if I'm a "broken piece", I can still help others around me.

This accomplishes the Lord's promises, too.

Answers are Blessings

There are a lot of things I can do in the gospel that build my faith.

Steps that make sense and are kind of easy to fulfill.

Reading scriptures, saying prayers, going to church, etc.  

They get me where I need to be.

And then come the times when it feels like I can't move forward anymore.

I get stuck and don't know what's next or what more I can do.

That's when I have to make my prayers more sincere.

I need to really ASK the Lord and SEEK His help.

I have to admit to the Lord that I don't have all the answers.

His answers may come as instructions on what I need to do better.

Or something I need to change.

Maybe a different direction I need to take.

What I need to remember is that His answer will always be a blessing.

Even if it's hard to do.

Especially, if it's hard to do.

Be Fruitful

In the Old Testament, there are several times when the Lord tells someone,

 "...be fruitful and multiply..."

I have always just equated this phrase to having a family. 

But, in the New Testament it says,

"...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance."

Now, being fruitful to me means to seek for these things of the Spirit and spread them throughout the world.

Being Perfect

I was reading, Luke 1:37 in my gospel study this morning, "With God, nothing shall be impossible"

So, I asked myself the question, "What seems impossible to me?"

Getting everything done that I need to.

Staying focused on what needs to be done.

Basically, being perfect!


Then I remembered an experience I had the other Sunday while taking the sacrament.

My mind was going over all the things I needed to do better in the up-coming week.

And I heard a whispering in my mind that said, "You don't need to be perfect".

It was then that I realized that I was thinking about all the things I was not doing perfectly.


But, what about the scripture (Matt. 5:48) that says, "Be ye therefore perfect..."?


I have heard that one translation of perfect, actually means "complete".

Be ye therefore complete.


The only way I can be complete is with Jesus Christ.

When I take the sacrament I am renewing my covenant to take His name upon me.

As long as I am remembering Christ and trying to become who He wants me to be, I am complete.


My focus needs to be on Jesus Christ.

Not just "what am I not doing right?'


I remember Jesus by repenting and choosing to do God's will.

I remember Jesus when I pray and study my scriptures daily.

Jesus will perfect (complete) me. 

Because with God, nothing shall be impossible .

The Son

We have had a very mild winter this year.

But the temperature does not always tell the full story.


I walked into church this morning without my coat buttoned up.

Then, I realized I should feel colder because it was only 13 degrees.

I felt warmer than I had the day before when it was 36.


The difference was the sun.


The sun makes all the difference in whether I feel cold or warm.


When I am going through a hard or dark time in my life, the only way to get through it is with the Son.

He makes the cold days seem better even if they aren't.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalms 27:1

Thoughts from the Women's Broadcast

I loved being able to go to the Women's Broadcast tonight with two of my daughters.

Even better was when we got home and started comparing notes.

Ginny (age 11) - I like how when we go to the women's conference its different than the regular conference in that we know exactly who they are talking to. We don't have to wonder who the talks are directed to, we know for sure that its for us. Some quotes that stood out: Hope will conquer despair; good will conquer evil; joy always comes after sorrow. And, "There's a great need to rally the women of the church to stand with the brethren to stem the tide of evil."  This really shows that the women of the church are totally equal to the men.

Maggie (age 16) - It really stood out to me how much they talked about how the Lord has His own timetable. It's not in our time, it's in His time.  And Sister Oscarson said, "Life rarely works out as planned."

Me (the mom) - There seemed to be a lot about standing up for what we believe in. Sister Stephens said, "If you strengthen a child you strengthen a family."  She also talked about how part of the plan is to be tested. But that it's not just to learn from our own challenges but we can learn as we support others in theirs.  And President Eyring really helped me realize that I cannot fix or even understand other people's sorrows or problems. Only God can really say, "I know how you feel." But, I can try and bring the Spirit with me and love others as I try to comfort them.

It's interesting that we all heard the same talks but different things stood out to each of us.

I think this is what is meant by "differences of administration"(D&C 46:15) in the scriptures.

My Part in His Plan

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf posted this on Facebook recently:

"April general conference is a time when seasons change. In the southern hemisphere, the leaves turn colors as autumn begins, and spring flowers bloom in the north. Conference provides an opportunity to gather together as friends and families to become more united in our faith in Jesus Christ and in our efforts to serve Him.

 As I have prepared for this conference, I have felt impressed that each one should ponder again about God's plan for our lives and consider our individual place in this divine plan as His children.

Please, always remember that each one of us matters to Him, wherever we may be. "

I've been thinking a lot about this question:

What is my role in Heavenly Father's plan?

The answer that I came up with:

I am my Heavenly Father's daughter.

My part in His plan is to learn and to return to live with Him again some day.

I don't need to do any BIG thing for Him.

I just need to learn who I am again (and again, and again).

He will tell me through the scriptures and prayer.

He will tell me through my obedience.
 
We are all on the same journey.

So, while I am walking this path back to my Heavenly Father I will help others on their path, too.  

It really is as simple as that.

Power vs. Control

I think I write a lot about how my life feels out of control.

And I'm always looking for the next "gimmick" that will help me get control of things.

It could be new chore charts for the kids, a new diet, a new cleaning schedule, etc.

It's my way of trying to insert some control into my life.

These gimmicks usually don't last a long time.

The desire for control can cause frustration because there are actually very few things that I have control over.

I can't control the weather, the bad stuff in the world, or even the choices my children make.

This can then lead me to look for an escape that gives me a kind of counterfeit control.

Computer games, watching movies all day, social media.

I can control what I watch or I can control my time as I choose.


But, what I really need is not control - it is power.

 
The purpose of life is not to control all things.

It is to learn to be obedient.

"And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them."  Abraham 3:25

When I am obedient, God blesses and prospers me.  Mosiah 2:22

He gives me power to accomplish what He wants me to do. 1 Nephi 3:7

Power comes when I choose the right.

 It is a gift from God.

 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:5

He wants to give me power.

His power.

And through that power I can accomplish amazing things.

The Good Part

My life is crazy.

It has been for a long time.

Recently, it got more crazy when I started working outside of my home.

I am a focused person and I do great when I have one thing that I can focus on completely.

For the last 18 years or so, my main focus has been on my family.

But, throw a new job in there and all of a sudden I have to focus on that, too.

So, I did what I always do when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I made a list.

I listed all of the things that I need, or want, or have to do.

Things like: make dinner, family prayer, visit neighbors, read scriptures, church calling, work, volunteer, read books, clean the house, work in the yard, etc.

I filled an entire page with tasks.

Then, I numbered them according to importance in my life.

I came up with about 7 different levels of priorities.

It has been life changing in helping me focus on what is important.

I found that my natural instinct, when I'm overwhelmed, is to start focusing on things that are lower on my priority list - like decorating my house, or landscaping my yard.

And that even though my job is a high time commitment, it's not in my top levels of priorities.

Then there are those times when I'm having a good day and feel like I have a handle on things. I can go to my list to know what I need to focus on next.


My number one priority category has only  3 tasks in it:

Listen to the Spirit
Read/Study my scriptures
Personal prayers

That's it.

When I start to feel overwhelmed with all that I need to be doing, I stop and focus on that top priority. 

Have I prayed today? Have I studied my scriptures? Am I trying to feel the Spirit?

If I can answer yes to those three questions, then I'm good.

This scripture (Luke 10:42) has always stood out to me:

 41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

Those three things are the good part that I choose. 

Scripture Study

Since the first of the year, I have been following along a reading program for the Book of Mormon.

It gives reading assignments each day, a question to ponder, and a talk to go with the reading.

I have really enjoyed studying my scriptures this way.

I even bought a special notebook to write down my thoughts and keep notes in.

If a particular thought stands out to me then I've been hanging it on the wall next to my bed.

It's fun to watch my kids notice when I've put up something new.

And sometimes they'll even ask me what it means and we can have a good discussion about it.

A quote I've read recently from Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Our motives and thoughts ultimately influence our actions." Oct 2006

I have noticed that as I focus on my daily study, I am beginning to spend a lot less time on my phone scrolling through various social media sites.

It really is true that if you fill your life with the important stuff first then the unimportant stuff begins to fall away.

Teaching Sunday School

Teaching Sunday School has been one of my favorite callings in church.

Here is the approach that I take:

I start by reading over the lesson entirely and somewhat quickly.

Then I read the scriptures covered in the lesson throughout the week.

Saturday night is when I usually sit down and make an outline of the lesson and scriptures I want to share.

I pray a lot that the Lord will guide me in what I need to focus on.

In my prayers, I share with the Lord all that I have learned during my study that week and ask Him to help me be able to know what is needed for the class members.

And I pray for those who I will be teaching; that the Spirit will recognize their needs and use me to help them.


A few months ago I got a new calling in church.

And I've really missed the whole process that went with teaching.


Then I had an idea.


What if I lived my life the way I taught Sunday School?


I can study my scriptures each week with a focus in mind.

I can ask the Lord to use me to help those around me.

I can spend at least one day a week in earnest prayer pleading for those that I might be able to influence and hoping they feel the Lord's love for them through my words.

I don't have a regular class at church anymore, but I have a family that I am with even more.

They could use the same help and teachings from the Lord.

And I can have the feelings that I had while teaching Sunday School: knowing that I am being an instrument in the Lord's hands.

Addiction

Tetris. Solitaire. Candy Crush. Temple Run. Dots. Sudoku.

Computer games. (Not just for computers anymore.)

I can't have them on my computer or phone.

I'm one of those people with an addictive personality.

I talk to my kids about it, because I'm pretty sure I've passed the gene down to them.

Because of this personality, it's just better to not even get started on some things.

When I do start something, it's hard to stop.

Although this is embarrassing and overly dramatic, I've been feeling that I need to share some of my thought process:

It's not that big of a deal.
Everyone else can do this and they don't seem to have a problem controlling it.
This is great.
I feel like I'm doing good this time.
It's not a problem.

Then:
I should probably stop.
I've got a lot of things I should take care of.

It progresses to:
Why can't I stop.
Everything is in a daze.
I just want to go back to doing that.
When I'm doing that I don't have to worry about anything else.
My family is keeping me from doing what I want and what makes me happy.
Could everyone just leave me alone for a while.

And then:
Why does my life seem to be falling apart.
I just need my own space.
But, I don't want to stop.
Then I have to face all of this other stress in my life.

Until finally:
Why can't I stop this.
I know it is hurting me and my family.
I need help.

The image in my mind is falling down a well.

For me, cold turkey is the only way to go.

I have to hit the uninstall button.

And that's when:

Life is so much brighter.
I love my family.
I can do hard things.

But, why am I able to stop, ever?

Faith saves me.

Not just believing.

I can't stop myself from falling.

I hit a hard brick floor and it hurts.

Bricks of personal prayer, scripture study, etc.

It is the bricks that stop me from falling forever.

Jesus Christ is my stonemason.

HE is the light at the bottom of my well.

And the light at the top that I seek.

HE helps me build the bricks into what I need.

Sometimes that is a floor to stop me.

Or a wall to protect me.

And eventually, if I keep adding to the bricks, I know that HE will build for me a mansion in heaven.

Gospel Study in Our Home

I love getting ideas and details about how others study the gospel in their home.  There seems to be so many different choices in how to do it and its easy to get overwhelmed.  But I believe any good thing is good, and it's up to us to decide what works best in our own family.

Our gospel study has come along very slowly.  When my kids were very little, we used the Gospel Art Instruction kit.  We would look at a picture and learn the story.  We probably did this about once a week.  Then I would hang the picture up so we could be reminded about what we learned.

I also included "Read Scriptures" as one of our morning chores to be done before breakfast. The kids who couldn't read yet would bring me their book and I would have them repeat after me one scripture.  Once they could read on their own, they would choose how much to read.  (Although I tried to encourage them to not just open it up and read one verse of wherever they turned.)  I would suggest a column or a page or even a chapter, depending on their age.

I realized that they may not really be getting anything out of their reading but at least I hoped they were developing the habit.

My two oldest are now in seminary at school studying the New Testament.  They wake up on their own each morning at 6:00am and get ready and then read their scriptures.  They also use this time for working on their Personal Progress.

We have family scripture study at 7:00am.  We choose to sit around the kitchen table so people are less likely to lay down and read with their eyes closed. We have tried doing this at night, but it was much harder to get everyone together and quiet.  And even at this time, when my husband is sometimes already gone to work, we just do it without him. I think every family is different; the important thing for us is just consistency. (As a motivation to come to scripture study, if my kids miss it, they have to read whatever they missed, out loud to me before breakfast.)

We mostly just read the Book of Mormon about a chapter at a time.  We take turns reading around 3-4 verses out loud (depending on the length of the chapter).

We have tried reading other scriptures as a family, but we really need the blessings that are promised to us in this quote:

You will have the spirit of peace in your home I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase, mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to that counsel. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity -- the pure love of Christ -- will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.

Marion G. Romney,
Conference Report, April 1960, p.112 - p.113

And we definitely notice a difference when we read something other than the Book of Mormon.

We did take a few weeks recently, the last time we finished the Book of Mormon, to study Chapter 5 from Preach My Gospel.  I loved doing this because I actually felt like we were having discussions rather than just reading like usual.  In fact, sometimes I feel bad that we don't have more discussions, but I think it's kind of like going to church with young kids, it's not always about how much you're going to get out of it, but rather just developing the habit for later on.

Another thing we do is memorize scriptures.  I found this Charlotte Mason program to help memorize scriptures.  Mostly we work on the scriptures from seminary, but I add others in as needed.  We repeat our scriptures for the day before morning and evening family prayers.

For the current younger kids personal scripture study, I printed out these scripture prompts from the Book of Mormon reader.  We read the section in the reader and then talk about the question.  My 5 year old enjoys drawing pictures that go along with it.  But my 9 and 11 year old write their answers in a special scripture journal and then mark their regular scriptures as well.

For the kids still in primary, they can choose between this, or working in their Faith in God book.  (Although, my 11 year old has decided to read the Doctrine Covenants on his own.)  My 12 year old son works on his Duty to God during this time.  This is something I love about homeschooling, I don't feel like I have to rush past this to get them out the door.  We just have a set time where they work on it.

One thing that I have enjoyed doing in the past is our Sunday night conference talk.  Each child takes a turn choosing a talk from the most recent General Conference.  We either read it together or watch it on the computer.  This is actually a great time for discussion of principles.  And the kids are more invested in it when they are the one that picked it.

We also have Family Home Evening every Monday night.  Lately, these have mostly been about spending time together as a family.  Every once in a while, my husband or I will feel prompted that something in particular needs to be taught, but for the most part we just try and do something that will help unite us as a family.

I wish I could say that all of this happens every day perfectly.  It doesn't.  It's definitely a work in progress. And I'm sure that as our family changes and the world changes we'll have to adapt accordingly. 

What doesn't change is the Gospel. 

And my hope as a mother is to help my children learn it and love it as I do.

Being Happy with Who You Are

I was asked to do a presentation for the young women in our church on, "Being Happy with Who You Are".  My first thought was, oh, am I one of those people?  You know the kind that the young women look at and think "well, look at her she seems to be happy even though she shouldn't be." (haha!)

Then I realized its probably just because I'm a positive person and smiling all the time.  So, it was all good.

But, I spent a while thinking about what makes me a happy person.  And I came up with that it's knowing that God loves me no matter what.  

And that my life is so much better when I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses.  Anyway, here's what I told the young women:


I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that you shouldn't care what other people think.  That's like telling birds not to fly.  We are women and we care.  In fact, I couldn't figure out what to wear to this tonight, so I called my friends (who happened to be together so they put me on speaker phone!) to help me out.  I care what people think!

So, have you ever laid outside and looked up at the stars and wondered why you matter.  If you imagine all of the people in the world and all the prayers being said to God, "why would he even think of me?"

David, of the Old Testament, wondered this same thing.  "What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?" (Psalms 8:4) 

Moses had the same feeling after being shown all the inhabitants of the world.  "Now for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed". (Moses 1:10)  And yet when God spoke to Moses he called him by name, "Moses, my son".

God knows each of us individually.  He knows our name.

I also like the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible.  Jesus was visiting them in their house and Martha was working hard to serve him while Mary wasn't helping her at all.  I've always thought of myself a little bit like Martha "cumbered about much serving". But when Martha complained to Jesus about it, Jesus' response was "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:  But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38-42 emphasis added)

Mary had chosen to listen to the Savior, but was Martha bad because she was trying to serve the Lord a different way?  No.  In another passage about Mary and Martha, it says , "Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister . . ." (John 11:5).  He loved them both the same.

Mary and Martha just had different personalities.  Different strengths.  When their brother Lazarus died they reacted differently.  "Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him; but Mary sat still in the house".(John 11:20)  Was one better than the other in their reaction?  No, they are just different people.

All of us have strengths.  I think as women we have a tendency to focus on what our weaknesses are and how can we "fix" what we are bad at right now.  When what we really should be asking ourselves is, "What am I already really good at, that I can do even better to help others?"  

What is something you are good at?

One of the things I'm really good at is crying.  I was always told by my siblings growing up "you're such a crybaby!"  Well, now how is that a strength?  Actually it is.  Because I am an emotional person I can show empathy to others.  It is easy for me to mourn with those who mourn.  I feel deeply and that is OK.  I now look at it as a strength.

What are some of your strengths and how can it help others around you?

Now, another thing you need to know is that God does not love you more or less than anyone else.  He loves everyone the same.  I have learned this more fully in the past year as I have helped some of my cousins. They have made some very poor choices and been in jail.  But guess what, God doesn't love me more than them just because I try to do what's right.  He loves them just as much as me! 

So what is the point in doing all this good stuff?  I do it because I love Him.  It is the choices that we make that bring us closer to God.  And the closer we are to him the more we feel his love.  His love isn't more, we just feel it.  It's like the sun.  The sun shines the same, but when you are in the shade you cannot feel it.  And the closer you get to it the more it warms you.

If you are having a hard time coming up with thinking of a strength you may have, here's a few suggestions.[insert awesome handout that I had hubby make]  You can also ask a parent.  What am I good at?  Or ask a good friend.  And then the hard part - believe them.

I was given a challenge a while back, with some others, to ask God what He thought of me.  I want to give you the same challenge.  Sometime this week when you kneel down to pray, ask God what He thinks of you.  And then wait and listen.  Everyone I know who has taken this challenge and then waited for their answer has felt His love.  I know I have.

God loves each of you unconditionally.  You have a ways to go in figuring out who you are.  You are really just beginning to see yourselves and become who you want to be.  But God knows you.  He sees you as your best self.  And He loves you no matter what.  No matter where you are in your life or what choices you have made - He loves you.

Mantra

I found an interesting scripture at the end of last year and I've been repeating it in my head.

It's toward the beginning of the Book of Mormon.

Lehi and his family have left Jerusalem; lived and journeyed in the wilderness, built a boat and traveled across the sea.

And not without much difficulty.

They finally arrive in the promised land.

1 Nephi 18:24

"And it came to pass that we did begin to plant seeds; yea, we did put all our seeds into the earth, which we had brought from the land of Jerusalem. And it came to pass that they did grow exceedingly; wherefore, we were blessed in abundance." (emphasis added)

They did not hold anything back.

They did not say to themselves, just in case this doesn't work out, we better save some of these seeds.

They put all of their seeds into the earth.

So this year, I'm telling myself to plant all of my seeds.

To not keep myself back from living fully just because I may not feel settled.

Even though, I know we will only be here for another year and then we will move again, I'm planting all my seeds.

There is no use in waiting for what may be in the future.

This is my life right now.

It's a great life.

I'm planting all of my seeds!