Re-Gifting

Last year when my parents came out to visit, my mom brought me a present.

It was a flower from a Sweetheart's dance that I went to in high school.

My date didn't have a real corsage to give me until we got into the car to leave and then he just kind of threw this flower thing into my lap.

It was fake and it had a safety pin on the back.

I refused to wear it. I was humiliated.


My mom is still friends with his mom.

When she brought it to me I found out that it had come from one of her dresses and that she hadn't realized, until too late, that he had taken it for the dance.

For 25 years, every time she saw it, she would think of me.

She thought that I should have it.

I'm glad I can laugh about it now, because it was definitely not funny to my 17 year old high school self.


My daughter is going to her first high school dance this weekend. 

Since she's never really done this before and the boy hasn't either, she's a little worried about how it's all going to work. 

She asked me if I thought he would get her a corsage?

I told her that I had an extra one that I could lend her in case he didn't.

Raising Boys

So I started out my motherhood with 2 girls. They couldn't be more opposite.

Then I got 2 boys. Again, couldn't be more different.

And now while my girls are hitting that fun hormonal stage and emotions are all over the place, my boys are coming into their own.

Perfect timing.

Just this weekend:

• They snuck out of the house and were gone for at least the 30 minutes I spent looking for them (who knows how long before that).

• I had to take one to the ER for a cut on his finger that I didn't even find out about until his church teacher came to tell me he was dripping blood all over. (He had woken up early, decided to carve a chestnut, and hid the fact that he had a huge gash on his finger because he thought we would be mad).

I guess I'm just not paying attention like I'm supposed to be.

But really, they're boys, right? What did I expect.

Emotions?

Oh Dear Me

So my friend is putting together this great blog with letters from women to their younger selves. Anyone can do it. I thought I'd share mine here, too.

Dear Me at 14:

So, I know you’re getting ready for the biggest night of your life: your first stake dance. I mean how lucky can you be to turn 14 on the same day you get to go to the dance. And I know its black, red and white night. And I know you have your eyes on a couple of boys already. You have waited so long for this and can’t wait to flirt with those boys! Do it!! Have fun!! But, let me give you just a few suggestions about the whole boy thing. You are not going to marry any of them! Get this into your head now or else you’ll spend the next 10 years (that’s right 10 years) of your life asking yourself if this boy or that boy is the “one” for you. I’m telling you now: NO! So stop worrying about it.

Now, don’t worry. You do end up getting married. And to the most amazing person in the world. He is perfect for you, and so completely different from your image of him right now. So don’t go looking for him. He will find you. In fact, you’re not even going to want to date this boy at first.

But, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out there and have fun and date. By all means, enjoy this time. It’s a blast! Date as much as you can. (Although I would stay away from that one boy in college who takes you to the basketball game. That one is totally not worth it.) But just have fun and don’t worry so much about getting serious.

You know what is more important than all these boys – your girlfriends, including your sisters. Pay more attention to them. They are the ones who will always be there for you. There will be many boys and lots of tears. But the constant thing in your life will be your girlfriends. The thing is, you can learn so much more from these girls than all those boys you end up kissing. (Yes, don’t get too excited but you will end up kissing, a lot). So instead of being worried about what these boys think of you and if they like you, (they either do or they don’t) try and build lasting relationships with your girlfriends. Listen to them and don’t just talk about boys. Talk about your goals and your dreams for the future. Forget about yourself and all those boys that you think are sooo cute. You are an amazing person no matter what any boy thinks of you. And your friends love you no matter what, so love them back more.

For now, get that eyeliner going, that permed hair teased up a little bit more, and don’t forget to run through that musk perfume. It’s a great night. “He” will be waiting for you ten years down the road. So leave all these boys in the dust and dance it up!!!

Love,

Me at 39