Re-Gifting

Last year when my parents came out to visit, my mom brought me a present.

It was a flower from a Sweetheart's dance that I went to in high school.

My date didn't have a real corsage to give me until we got into the car to leave and then he just kind of threw this flower thing into my lap.

It was fake and it had a safety pin on the back.

I refused to wear it. I was humiliated.


My mom is still friends with his mom.

When she brought it to me I found out that it had come from one of her dresses and that she hadn't realized, until too late, that he had taken it for the dance.

For 25 years, every time she saw it, she would think of me.

She thought that I should have it.

I'm glad I can laugh about it now, because it was definitely not funny to my 17 year old high school self.


My daughter is going to her first high school dance this weekend. 

Since she's never really done this before and the boy hasn't either, she's a little worried about how it's all going to work. 

She asked me if I thought he would get her a corsage?

I told her that I had an extra one that I could lend her in case he didn't.

"If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Sometimes the pressure is a little too much.

I hate the fact that if I have a bad day, the whole family seems to fall apart. 

A while ago, when I was feeling sorry for myself, I made a super long list of all the things that I was in charge of.

Then I made a list of what my husband was in charge of.

His list was really short.

I thought that seemed unfair at first.  But, then I realized that the number one thing on his list carries more weight than anything on my list.

His number one job:  keep me happy.

I'm lucky he does such a good job.

Finding Inspiration

Sometimes I simmer around ideas for several days, weeks or months before I'm ready to put into words what I've been thinking about.

Sometimes an idea will just pop into my head and I'll write about it.

Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out what to write I draw a complete blank.

I try to feel inspired when I'm writing and I said out loud today to my husband, "why shouldn't I be able to get inspiration about things to write about?"

His response, "because you always get whatever you want?"

Did you know that just because I want something bad enough, even if it is a good thing, doesn't mean I will always get it?

Duh.

I like to think that the Lord will bless me with needed inspiration whenever I want it, but the truth is that He works on His timing, not mine.

Here's an example: 

This summer I kept seeking inspiration on our job search.  I had already told the Lord that I would go wherever we were needed. 

But couldn't I just get a little inspiration on where that was. 

Or even more importantly, when that was? 

If I just knew how long it was going to take, then I would be able to deal with it so much better.  I would have some kind of deadline to work towards.

Looking back now,  I think if I had known how long it would take to get a job I probably would not have started homeschooling.

And I know that I would not have grown closer to the Lord through my pleadings. 

I would not have had the same gratitude and humility from knowing how many people were praying for us.

In other words, I would not have had the experiences that I needed to grow. (I wish that growing was easier.)

Now I can say that I feel extremely grateful for that time.

I recognize that a lot of my growth has come from other times when I've been searching for inspiration and I have felt like I was on my own.

When I say on my own, I don't mean alone.

I know that the Lord is always with me.  

If inspiration doesn't come it's not because the Lord is too busy to help me out.

And it's not because I am not showing enough obedience to get what I want.

Sometimes it is just. hard. work.
  
And the inspiration that I think I need, will actually be recognizing what I have learned from that hard work.

Re-Post: Life is A Battlefield

I'm going to be totally lame because it's Saturday and I want need to get as much stuff done as possible.  So I'm re-posting one of my kids' favorite.  (Ok, it's one of my favorites too and it may or may not also still be applicable today.)

Slowly she creeps across the bleak landscape. Wary and unsure of her next step.

Visions of her partner's battle wound press into her mind. The scar will always be there as a reminder.

Some have no problem navigating through the area. And yet, for her, each step is a painful reminder of what once was.

There are those who would gladly do the job for the right compensation. But with no resources it is up to her, and her alone.

If only.

No, those thoughts must not be allowed to take over. She must live in the present and deal with what is before her.

Questions will only lead to distractions.

Distractions lead to neglect.

Neglect leads to, well, to this.

Eventually all of this must stop.

Bravely she stoops down.

Carefully, carefully.

She reaches for the nearest object, avoiding the urge to look around too much. Then slowly she stands again.

One down, who knows how many more to go.

Anyone feel like cleaning up my living room for me?

Stretching

I love exercising.

It just makes me feel so good, so alive.

I love working up a sweat and feeling like I'm accomplishing something.  I love taking care of my body.

But, I have to admit that it is really hard work. 

And I have to really make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

One thing that really motivates me?

The cool-down stretch.

It is my favorite part.

I never stretch out before I exercise; it just feels wrong and too tight.

But, after I'm all warmed up and kinda beat - it is the best feeling in the world.

I love taking time to think about what I just accomplished. 

And I love noticing that I can stretch just a little bit further than I did the last time.


I just realized today that I can relate this to my life.

Being obedient/having faith makes me feel good.

But, it is hard work and I have to make it a priority or it doesn't happen.

So what motivates me to do it?

The stretching.

When I'm going through hard times I don't often think about how good it feels.

But, when I look back at these experiences and I can see how far I've come, it feels great.

And that is the best feeling in the world - becoming who God wants me to be.