Running Hills (part 1)

So, I've been doing it all wrong.

Last year, when I was training for my half marathon, I avoided hills. 

The problem is we kind of live on the top of one. 

To really go any kind of distance I'd have to go down one. But, I'd have someone come pick me up so I wouldn't have to go back up.

When I did have to go up one I'd make a really big deal out of it.  I'd hype myself up for days.   

I think it was because I had set a goal during training and the actual race, to never walk.  And even though I could mostly make it up a hill running, I would be dying by the flat part at the top. 

Unfortunately, there was this hill near the end of the half-marathon.  And it just about killed me. 

Going up was fine, but I could barely make it the last mile and a half on the flat part.

A wise friend of mine (and a really good runner) told me she walked the hill since she didn't want to be dead for the last part.

What a concept!  You mean, you could walk during a race?  Why hadn't I thought of that?  Why did I think that walking was against the rules?  More specifically, my rules?
 
This year as I started running I decided I wanted to do hills.  Even if I was just going to walk up them.  I gave myself permission to just take it easy and not care if I walked a little. 

And now guess what?  I do hills.  Lots of them.  And I'm not even walking most of them.  I will sometimes walk a little when I get to the top just to catch my breath.  But mostly, I just keep running. 

And here's where I figure out what I was doing wrong. 

I would get myself all psyched out for these hills.  I'd look at them and think I can't make it up there.  Or I'd think about how tired it would make me by the top of the hill. 

Then, while I was running, I would keep looking at how far I had to go and how steep it was.  Definitely the wrong way to go about it. 

Now, when I come to a hill, I tell myself, "let's just see how far we can make it", or "I'll walk when I get done with this hard part". 

Then I just put my head down and watch my feet and maybe a little bit in front of me.  I hardly ever look up.  I might take a glance about halfway to the top. 

But if I'm just watching my feet and pushing along it doesn't seem steep at all, it just happens to be where I am.

Now, here's where I do my analogy thing. 

I've been struggling this summer with what seems like this giant hill in my life.  It's unavoidable. And I keep looking at it thinking, how am I supposed to do this. 

I need to give myself permission to "walk up this hill" if I need to.  There is no shame in that.

Then I need to put my head down and keep moving.  Focus on what is right in front of me, not what is coming up and may be really hard.  This is just where I am.

So even though I don't really want to say, "Give me more hills!"  I finally am feeling like I can make it through all of this.

And you know it is a fabulous feeling to get to the top of those hills!

Job Hunt

At first I thought finding a job was a little like trying to get married.

It was so exciting to think about the future and what it would be like.

Then after a while you start thinking that maybe there's not just one special one out there waiting for you. 

You would be happy with any good one; but a lot happier with a right one.


Now, I'm beginning to feel that our job search is more like being pregnant.

It's pretty exciting at first.  But towards the end you just feel tired and apathetic.  And you just want to get it over with.  And you start to think that it's never really going to happen.


Who knows, maybe a few more months of job hunting will feel like something else.

I'm hoping for a graduation type feeling and not a death.

Straight (jacket) Talk

I think I've blogged before about how the mind is a powerful thing. 

I've just been wondering if anyone else has a voice in their head as sarcastic as the one in mine. 

I guess you'd call it my conscious. 

I sometimes have these conversations with this voice in my head. 

Its obnoxious. 

Especially when I'm trying to have one of those "martyr" moments. 

You know the ones. 

The -  "Poor me."  "Why me?"  "This is the worst thing ever!"

You get the idea. 

Tonight, sarcastic inner voice came out pretty strong. 

(This is totally embarrassing, but I'll share it anyway.)

Martyr voice:  "Well, I guess it shows that I'm not the most important thing in his life."

Conscious voice:  "Well, at least YOU are the most important thing in your life right now."

Ouch.

Ok, got it.  Thank you very much.  I'll just go hang my head in shame and get my act together. 

Got to love people who will tell it to you straight.

Even if it is the voice in my head.

I have a habit of dispensing advice.

Sometimes (most of the time), the things I hear myself say end up being what I needed to hear.

Here are two gems I recently advised (myself).

1.  Instead of coveting other people's talents and saying: "I wish I could . . . like that person" you should say: "What am I already good at that I that I can do better to help others."

2.  Kids always need to feel special, but especially teenagers; because it's so easy for them to forget.

Good stuff.  I hope I can remember this.

Fitting In

Even though I may "live in the moment" there still have been times when I've moved that I've felt like I just didn't fit in.

In fact, one move I spent almost an entire year feeling that there was no one else around in just the same situation as me and therefore, I was all alone.

But here's the thing about fitting in: it's better not to think of it as a puzzle piece trying to fit into that one exact spot in the puzzle.

Think of it more like a piece of clothing that can really go with any outfit.

Or better yet, some kind of fruit to go into a fruit salad.

The fruit salad of life!

We already "fit in"; its just up to us to put ourselves in.

And most likely, we'll end up being that fruit that someone else has been waiting for to complete their salad.

So, what fruit are you?