Fixing the Kids

Here's a discovery that I have made:

My job as mom is not to "fix" my kids and all of their problems.

Because, let me tell you, they have them.

Problems, personality issues, mental challenges, etc.

And when I start to focus on what I need to do to fix these things, it's overwhelming.

But, really, it's not my job to be the fixer.

I really think that my job is to love my children unconditionally and support them as they try to figure out their life. 

I can give suggestions and ideas and support, but ultimately its not up to me to fix them.  It will be up to them to figure it out. 

We all were children at one time.  And we all had our issues (we still have our own issues).

But eventually we figured it out, moved on, and became reasonably functioning adults. 

And it didn't happen by someone forcing their "fix" on us. 

It came about by growing and stretching on our own. 

Usually in an environment that fostered that growth.

So my job as a mom is to create that type of environment, where my children feel accepted, see good examples of what they would like to be, and create a desire within to "fix" themselves.

My Thoughts on Homeschooling

Since we were job hunting at the beginning of the school year, I gave my kids the choice of starting school, and perhaps moving in the middle of it, or just being homeschooled. 

Secretly, I was hoping they would choose to stay home.

I have been wanting to homeschool my kids for a while.  I can't exactly say why.  We have, for the most part, had wonderful teachers and schools.  So it wasn't that. It's just really something I wanted to do.

The two oldest decided to go to the high school, but my 3rd, 5th, and 7th grader chose to stay home. 


I could not be happier about this decision!  I love it!

I love not having to rush my kids out of the door in the morning. 

I love not having to remember how long my kids read for and signing homework papers while trying to rush them out the door. 

I love that we don't have extra homework.  When we are done with school, we're really done. 

I love that we can be done with our school close to lunchtime.

I love that we can learn about interesting things all together instead of the kids learning separately. 

I love that I'm learning as well as my kids. 


And although I sometimes often long for that feeling of relief when I finally got them out the door.
 
And I miss having a bit more quiet time; and time to get chores and shopping done.

And the kids are together all the time so there's more chance of annoying each other and getting on each others nerves.

And there are many days when it's time to get started on school and there is a lot of whining. 
And screaming. 
And complaining. 
And fit throwing when they make mistakes.  

And I'm pretty sure that if they were in school most of that wouldn't happen. 

I wouldn't trade it.


I like knowing what my kids are learning and who they are hanging out with.  It makes me happy when they do play happily together, like right now.

I'm pretty sure there are not a lot of 12 1/2 year old boys who play make-believe like mine. 

I think it might have to do with what little outside influence he has on him.

Now, I know that I can't protect my kids from the world forever.  And I don't even feel like that's why I'm homeschooling. 

Except for the fact, that I'm their mother. 

And why not take as much time as I can teaching them what they need to know to survive in this world. 

Rather than leaving it up to others.  (As remarkable a job as they might do.)

And I'm not clueless to the fact that my kids will need other mentors in their lives.  I'm just not sure I want their mentors to be other kids at school who I may not know.


I'm still figuring this all out.

I have tried to be very structured like some books that I have read. 

But I'm starting to get more relaxed and realize how I want to do it.  And figuring out what works best for each of my kids.

My almost 5 year old is pretty sure she wants to go to regular school.  (Mostly so she can eat lunch there.)

My plan is to take each year and child individually and see what will be the best for them. 

But, the thought of not having to send another child to school again, makes me very happy.

service

friendship

humor

hard work

sacrifice

love 

listening

faith

What do these things all have in common?  They were taught to me by my  mother.

Today is my mom's birthday.

Am I allowed to say that I had the "bestest" mom in the whole world.

And I'm not the only one who thinks that.  I'm often told by others how lucky I am that she's my mom.

One of my first posts was about her.

I think the best gift we can give our mothers is to live the things they have taught us.  (and no, that's not just a cheap way out!)

Happy Birthday Mom!  I love you.

My Blog "Marathon"

I have always wanted to do a marathon. 

And I really hope to run one someday. 

But,for now, I've decided to do a marathon blog instead. 

My plan is to post something every day for 26 days. 

There are a couple of reasons I want to do this.  But, mostly I feel the need to create something.

And hopefully combat the depression that comes this time of year.  (You know the kind that comes from no sun and freezing cold temperatures!)  

Anyone else want to join me?  I love reading other people's blogs.

And just so you know, I'm totally counting today and yesterday, so I only have to post 24 more times in a row!

Random Thoughts on Teenagers

• Teenagers revert back to their toddler behavior.  There's a lot of fit throwing, crying, stomping, slamming doors, and whining.  By the way, they don't appreciate being told stories of their toddler years.

• I remember when I had my second child.  My sister brought my oldest to the hospital to visit.  She looked so huge to me!  It was like she had grown up over night. Same thing happened the other night when my oldest left with her two younger siblings to go to the church.  Driving.  When they got back home (an hour later) and she was holding the car keys, she looked so grown up to me!  Like she had grown up over night.

• I have the hardest time with the "odd" ages.  I think 2 year olds are cute, but 3 year olds are just a pain sometimes.  And those 7yr olds are just hard before they get to that magical age of 8. And don't even get me started on 11 year olds. Luckily, I spaced my kids perfectly. 3yrs - July; 9yrs, 11yrs - December; 13yrs - March; 15yrs - May; and finally 17yrs - August.  Three teenagers in the house.  And all at the odd years. I have a feeling it's going to be a "fun" year.