This is one of those topics that is never very easy to talk about - but I think it needs to be.
I've heard that the top 3 reasons people get divorced are due to problems in communication, money or sex.
There seem to be lots of classes and suggestions about the first two; but what about sex? No one wants to talk about it (which is reasonable due to the private and intimate nature of it).
But what happens if there is a problem in your relationship in that area? Who or where do you get help from?
There have been LDS books (my favorite) published recently that address this issue and they have been hugely popular. But I always think if I check one out of the library eyebrows are being raised. Especially in this time of rampant pornography it makes it more difficult to seek answers without seeming perverse.
Of course, the most important thing is to be totally candid with your spouse. But what else?
This should be the role of the parents, but how many of us are really comfortable talking about this with them, or they with us. (Luckily, I could talk about this stuff)
I am a very open person (probably too open) but I feel sorry for these young newlyweds who may not know where to turn to.
I've often wondered if there shouldn't be a Relief Society lesson on this subject at least once a year; or a more frank discussion about this in pre-marriage counseling.
There definitely is a line to draw when discussing things so they don't get too personal, but I am believer in how important this part of a marriage is.
Anyone else out there feel the same way?
The pre marriage class, that was essentially mandated by my BYU ward, was very explicate. I remember laughing during most of it while todd and i passed notes.
ReplyDeleteif parent's don't do the job, girlfriends will (good or bad).
So, I own that book and have thought about giving copies of it for wedding gifts. Do you think people would be shocked?
ReplyDeleteKatrina - I'm guessing that doesn't usually happen. Tanya - they might think it's weird at first and then realize it was their best gift.
ReplyDeleteBeing related, I inherited some of the openness. We got the book before we were married, each read it separately, and then tried to discuss our reaction to it.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the sexual content of this blog, I have reported you using the "report abuse" button above. Please refrain from discussing yuckie intimate issues or I will be forced to report you again and have this blog shut down permanently so that I won't throw up in my mouth again.
ReplyDeletejeff i assume and i learned much from your potty mouth anyway
ReplyDelete