The Opposite of Fear

 "Pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father. Turn to Him for answers and for comfort.

Pray in the name of Jesus Christ about your concerns, your fears, your weaknesses—yes, the very longings of your heart. And then listen!"

Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives, Russell M. Nelson, April 2018

This is the quote that stood out to me in my scripture study the other day.

It made me wonder, what are the longings of my heart and what do I fear?

As I began to pray and pour out the longings of my heart,  I realized that I do have fears.

I try to be a positive person and I want to look at the good things instead of what I fear.

Especially, because as I start focusing on my fears, it becomes overwhelming.

I know that God listens to my prayers and knows all of my fears.

And He answers.

This was the answer I got today.

The opposite of fear is joy.

So, I changed my "I fear" statements to "I joy" ones.

I fear that I'm not loving my children enough.

• I joy that I have children to love.

I fear that my body is going to fall apart!

• I joy that I have a body!

I fear that I'm not doing all the things that I am supposed to be doing.

• I joy that I've been given a chance to live on this earth and learn.

It is empowering.

Cinnamon Rolls & Gratitude

I have an amazing cinnamon roll recipe given to me by my mom.

They are a favorite in our home and neighborhood.

But, I don't think anyone loves my cinnamon rolls as much as my oldest son.

He brags about them to all of his friends and is always so appreciative whenever I make them.

The other day, I made them for our first day of school "bus stop breakfast".

It was the first time I have made them since my son left on his mission.

I became pretty emotional thinking about him missing out.

But, even more, I realized how much I loved making cinnamon rolls for him.

I knew how much he loved them because he told me all the time.

Then I thought that this must be how my Heavenly Father feels when I show gratitude to Him for blessings He gives me.

It must bring Him so much joy to bless me with what He wants to give me.

I hope He knows how much I love Him and appreciate all of my wonderful blessings.

And I want all of my friends to know about Him, too!

Compassion First

There are a few times in my life, where I have a learning experience that really sticks to me.

Like, I remember where I was and exactly what I was doing when I learned it.

I have been thinking about a particularly learning experience a lot, lately.

Several years ago, my husband had someone close to him make some accusations against someone else close to him.

My first response was to figure out what the truth was.

I did not want to believe it and I wanted to fight against it.

How could this person be feeling this way?

I just couldn't see it.

The way I remember my husband responding was something like this:

"That doesn't matter right now, what matters is that this is what they are feeling."

That is the saying that keeps coming to my mind over and over again.

It is not my job to figure out what the problem is, or how I can fix it.

Right now, my job is to listen to what others are feeling.

Figuring out solutions will come.

But, this is what they are feeling.

My focus needs to be on compassion first.

Making My Bed

My life often seems hectic and a bit out of control.

There's constantly something on my checklist that needs to get done.

As I begin to feel overwhelmed, there's always one was to calm myself.

Making my bed.

I have not always been a bed maker.

It just never seemed that important.

Now, I understand the power that comes from having a made bed.

For me, seeing a made bed in the middle of all the other "to-do" things brings me peace.

It lets me know that I have at least accomplished that much today.

Making my bed is a little thing.

But, "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass". (Alma 37:6)

Gathering Scattered Israel

I took the time this morning to watch some of BYU Women's Conference.

As I was listening to Sister Bingham talk about gathering Israel, I had a thought come to my mind.

Gathering Israel means coming to Christ and bringing others as well.

Am I scattered?

Unfortunately, many times, yes!

There are many times when I am focused too much on life and all the things that need "doing".

And I forget that my main focus should be Jesus Christ.

When He is my main focus, the other things in life get done as needed.

This COVID-19 time is an opportunity to gather myself.

To remember what is most important.

As I focus on Jesus Christ through deeper scripture study, praying with more intent, and listening to His voice, I am gathering my scattered self unto Him.

Zone Cleaning

I'm pretty sure I've talked about zone cleaning before, but here what is working for us now.

Since I have four kids at home, I have divided the cleaning areas into 4 zones.

Right now the zones are: Kitchen, Dining Room, Front Room, Cats/Sweep

Each area has at least one daily job and then there is also an extra job every day.

We rotate weekly through the zones.

Kitchen zone requires putting away dishes every day and clearing/wiping the counter.
The extra jobs are: wipe appliances, clean out microwave, wipe down garbage can, empty garbages throughout the entire house.

Dining Room has to clear the table each day and then they also clear off the information center, organize the coloring shelf, clean off the bench seat, dust and wipe down chairs.

Front Room is in charge of vacuuming every day. They also straighten the bookshelves, the front closet, the top of piano, dust and clean under couches.

Cats/Sweep are in charge of feeding and watering the cats daily as well as sweeping (we have wood laminate all upstairs). Then they need to clean the cat's water bowl once a week, empty the litter box, and vacuum the outdoor/indoor rug by the back door.

After quiet time, the kids work on their zones so they can have a snack.

My kids are motivated by food and we've been doing this long enough, that they know the routine.

Any jobs that didn't get full attention during the week are taken care of (or done again) during our regular cleaning day on Saturday.

Saturday is also the day we vacuum bedrooms and clean bathrooms.

Fortunately, our kitchen has been staying pretty clean even though everyone is home.

That's because the kids are in charge of getting the whole kitchen cleaned every night (dishes, table, food, counter) before they can watch a show or movie.

Sometimes I worry that maybe there is too much screen time going on, but a clean kitchen at this time is worth it!

Family Scripture Study

Oops, looks like I skipped over our family scripture study.

The thing is, I am definitely not an expert in this.

We have tried LOTS of different ways to do this.

For sure, morning time works best for us.

By night time, my mom hat/patience is almost gone.

I just want everyone to go to bed.

And I am a believer in letting kids sleep as long as possible.

So, I put off doing early morning scriptures for a long time.

Notice I said "kids" in the previous sentence.

Teenagers are not kids!

When I had kids start high school, we started doing scripture study at 6:30am.

We do that all during the school year.

And then I've always struggled where to fit scripture study in during the summer.

I usually get up and exercise and go to work for a short time and the kids sleep until I get home around 8:30.

Though there have been some summers when I still woke the kids up at 6:30 so my husband could join us.

Ha! There was some rebellion.

Now, that there is not a school schedule to adjust to, I decided to do the 8:30 time.

But, I wake the kids up 30 minutes before for breakfast and getting ready.

Our scripture study goes much better when they are awake.

That being said, what does it really mean that scripture study goes better?

We go back and forth between taking turns reading out loud in chronological order and trying to have kids read before and then having a discussion.

Having the Come Follow Me program has helped us a lot.

I'd love to say that every scripture study is spiritually fulfilling.

But the truth is, I probably only feel the spirit during scripture study hopefully once a week; maybe less.

To me, the important part of scripture study is developing the habit.

I want my kids to know its important to me to make it a priority.

And maybe when they are older, they will remember the importance and make it a habit in their own families.

Exercise

Exercise.

It's important.

The end.



Ok, I'll say a little bit more about this.

(I mean, I did get a college degree in this subject.)


I am a true believer in exercising.

You know how most mom's have that one solution for any problem?

My solution for almost any problem is, "maybe you need to exercise?"

That, and "how much water have you had today?"

This COVID-19 came at a pretty tough time.

Our little town was just barely coming out of the long sleep of winter.

We've been stuck inside because of the cold for at least 4 months already.

And now that the snow is starting to melt and the temperatures are getting above freezing we can't go outside?!

I started a couch to 5k program about 2 weeks before quarantine.

Most of my runs were on an indoor track.

Luckily, there's been some nice enough weather (above 20 degrees) where I have been able to transition outside.

And more importantly, my kids need to get outside.

They're not toddlers anymore, but they still have energy that needs to come out other ways than yelling at each other.

Here's a list of some of the exercise activities they've been doing every day:

Biking (just up and down our street and maybe around the church parking lot)
Walking (up and down the neighborhood not getting close to anyone)
Exercise bike (inside)
Fitbit App workouts
Just Dance (wii)
Sword fighting (you know, the usual)

I have been doing Yoga on the days I don't run.

Yoga used to make me dizzy, but I've learned to only focus on myself and not doing it exactly right and that seems to be helping my head.

I love it!!

Anyway, exercise is important.

Just do it.

Quiet Time

I want to talk about Quiet Time.

This is not to be confused with my Mom Time.

(and it is so important to me, that I'm skipping over exercise time to talk about it!)

When I was just starting out on this parenting journey, I was lucky enough to have an older sister with kids older than mine.

She was a gold mine of information.

But, the number one nugget she gave me was the idea of "Quiet Time".

Every day, there is a time set apart for it.

The rule is, it must be spent in your room and you can't come out until the time is over.

When I first started this, we did only a 15 minute quiet time.

And there was some crying and door holding to get it to happen.

They could do what they wanted in quiet time as long as they cleaned up afterwards.

At the beginning, it would usually turn in to nap time.

As they got used to the idea, we gradually increased the time.

And as more kids came along, there was less quiet and more messy  creative play.

It became 30-60 minutes of my day that I looked forward to having some down time.

Life saver!!


We'd gone away from quiet times in our home.

My kids are older and not around that much anyway.

That is until now.

We are home together all the time.

And Quiet Time is back!


My kids complained a lot at first.

"We have to do an hour and a half of quiet time every day!!??!!"

"What are we supposed to do for that long??!!!"

Guess what?

It's saving our lives again!!

This time, everyone has to spend that time alone.

There's not many naps (though there have been some).

There's a lot of reading.

And a lot of creativity happening. (though no music is allowed - because quiet, right?)

I believe my kids are getting along a lot better with each other, because they have some alone time every day.

They play better together when they are together because they are not together all the time. Ha!

I usually end up working during that time.

Or just enjoying the peace.

If you are just starting out, don't expect perfect results at first.

We did the work to get to this.

But, it is worth the effort to get something like this in place.

Life saving, I tell you!

Thanks Pam.

School Work

I want to write about COVID-19 school.

I have two in high school (10th,12th) and two in middle school (5th, 6th).

Our schools/teachers moved everything on-line rather quickly when they shut school down.

The middle school had packets to pick up for 2 weeks worth of work.

The high school teachers emailed students and sent links to work.

They offer ZOOM meetings for kids to join if they want to; but it's not required.

We had a scheduled spring break during this closure time and the teacher's aren't giving homework during that time.

It was very stressful at first.

I did not want my kids to fall behind.

But, even more stressful, was trying to keep up on everyone's work and making sure that it was getting done.


Sidenote:
I have homeschooled almost all of my kids at different points in their school life.

And it took a while to get the right mindset.

In regular school, there are grades and tests to show where kids are in the learning process.

With homeschooling, there is no one to compare my kids learning with except their own.

I had to figure out that my job was not to "keep up" where they should be, but rather help them develop the learning and skills necessary to succeed in life.

(By the way, COVID-19 school is nothing like homeschool!  No field trips!)


Anyway, it was stressful.

I was starting to feel like the cranky taskmaster that I try really hard not to be.

Thankfully, I remembered my homeschool mindset and it helped me not stress about school work anymore.

We did a family council and talked about all the classes and assignments that each child needed to focus on.

I put the control in their hands, not mine.

I asked them to be diligent and that  I was there to help them not push or pull them.

I asked them to think about what classes they would feel stressed about not being caught up when/if school started again.

And that they should make a schedule and do a little bit of their work every day; especially in Math, English, and Science.

Our schedule has school work between 9-11, with extra time built in after lunch and quiet time, as needed.

And it's working.

My older kids know what needs to be done and they are mostly getting stuff done on their own.

Having a week of no school assignments coming in has been helpful to realize that there's no rush to get things done.

Learning is happening.

I have kids being able to focus more time on things that they really enjoy and want to learn.

And most importantly, I'm not constantly nagging at kids to get their stuff done.

I don't know how long we will be doing school at home.

I'm not sure what it will look like when they go back to school.

Grades don't matter to me as much as learning does.

(Although, grades matter to getting scholarships to college and that is important!)

I want my kids to remember this time at home as different and challenging.

But not as suffocating.

For our family, that means Mom backing off and loving more than nagging.

I promise that some days are better than others.

I truly believe, as Gordon B. Hinckley used to say:

 "It will all work out."

Cluffs Like Food

We really like food in our family.

It's a bit of a running joke in our family to say, "Cluffs like food."

My husband has a family history book of the Cluff family from late 1800s and early 1900s.

Our family got a kick out of reading the descriptions of the different family reunions.

A lot of the descriptions were about the food served.

That's why all the food times on my schedule are marked in bold.

Eating is important to us.

It's in our blood.

Also, if I didn't put regular eating times into the schedule, I'm pretty sure that my kids would be grazing all day long!

There are not a lot of chances to feel in control of life right now.

Making a schedule of food gives me at least a sense of control in that area.

I even scheduled out each day's snacks and lunches for 2 weeks.

And, like all hard schedules that I write out, they end up being "guidelines".

My kids know what food is in the house and they get one type of snack per day at the appropriate time.

It makes my life easy.

And my kids get fed. 

And in case anyone is interested, here's our list of snacks and lunches:

Pretzels*
Granola bar
Fruit
Crackers*
Gogurt
Goldfish*
Nuts
Popcorn
Veggies/Hummus
Treat
Nachos
Sandwich
Pasta
Ramen
Pizza Quesadillas
Mini Pizzas
Mini Sandwiches
Leftovers

* they read the serving size on the labels to know how much they get.

The thing is, my kids are always hungry.

So, my favorite line to use is, "It takes 30 days to starve. Come talk to me after not eating for 29 days."

I guess it sounds kind of harsh.

I really love my kids.

And I love my sanity.

And, we really like food.

Mom Time/Hear Him

So, I want to talk about the very first thing in my COVID-19 schedule.

When school was in, I had kids that needed to be at school by 7am.

That meant we had to have scriptures no later than 6:30 every morning.

I always set my alarm for 5:20am with the idea that I could read news and scriptures before getting everyone else up and ready.

It worked ok.


A couple of months ago, I decided to read and write down all of President Nelson's  invitations.

The idea was to pick one and work on it for a few months.

After re-reading all of his talks, I realized that more than anything I wanted to work harder on receiving personal revelation - really hearing God speak to me.

So, after getting kids off to school and exercising with friends, I made a stronger effort to take time to pray and listen to God.

I would get completely ready to go to work and then I would stop.

I'd shut my door and just pray.

I decided to carve out 30 min of my morning doing this.

Even though I didn't think I could really pray for that long, I did not want to feel rushed.


It became my most treasured time each day.

A time to slow down and express all of my feelings to my Father in Heaven.

And a time to feel His love for me and any direction I needed.


Fast forward now to kids being home ALL the time.

They don't need to be out the door early.

But, I've kept the habit of getting up early in the morning.

I still do my scripture reading and exercising and getting ready.

The kids know that we start doing breakfast at 8:00.

But, until then, I will be in my room for my alone time.

So, don't knock on my door!


It is still the best part of my day.

That time is exactly what I need to be able to face each day.

My patience has increased.

As well as my gratitude.

And when I follow any promptings that I receive, my day goes great.


When my kids were really little, and getting ready for church was a monumental effort, I learned that if I didn't get myself ready first, then it might not happen in time.

I still have that testimony.

If I don't take the time for the "needful" things as my very first priority, it's less likely to happen.


I know God wants to speak to me.

He loves me.

And I know He loves you.

Make time to Hear Him!

COVID-19 Schedule

I thought that I would post the schedule that is currently working for my family.

The ages of my kids are 18, 16, 12, 10.

I have always been a schedule person (see here).

5:30am-8:00am - Mom time (this is when I exercise, read scriptures, pray, get ready, etc)
8:00am - Breakfast
8:30am - Family scriptures
9:00am-11:00am - School work
          -Snack break-
More school
12:00pm - Exercise time
12:30pm - Lunch
1:00pm-2:30pm - Quiet Time
2:30pm - Zone cleaning
          -Snack break-
3:00pm-6:00pm - Project time/other school/free time
6:00pm - Dinner
They take turns picking a movie or show to watch every night after the kitchen/dinner is all cleaned up. As long as they got all of the necessary school work done.
9:00pm - Bedtime

It's working pretty good for us so far.

I'll post more about each block another time.

I'm trying to post a little bit more to record memories of this time.

Every Night is Friday Night

COVID-19

It's what everyone is talking about and thinking about lately.

Our kids have been out of school this whole week and will be for the next 2 weeks.

It's been nice to not have to get up so early and get people out the door.

My husband commented the other night, that every night feels like Friday night.


Church has been suspended.

Well, going to the church building with others was suspended.

We are still doing church in our homes as a family.

And we have been given permission to administer and partake of the sacrament in our home.


Since every day feels like a Friday, I have really been looking forward to Sunday.

It will definitely feel like a different day than the rest of the week.

So today, Saturday, I made sure to prepare for honoring this special day.

I want my home to be able to feel and keep the Spirit from our worship.

In the Old Testament, the Lord spake unto Moses saying:

"Speak thou also unto the children of Israel, saying, Verily my sabbaths ye shall keep: for it is a sign between me and you throughout your generations; that ye may know that I am the Lord that doth sanctify you." Exodus 31:13

The Sabbath is the Lord's sign to me.

I look forward to being sanctified and listening to the Lord.