Time to Commit

So, I have this huge pile of clothes next to my side of the bed.

Yes, some of them are clean and folded and ready to put away.

But, unfortunately, there's this pile of "other" stuff, too.

I think I just figured out what it is:

Seeing as I'm the one responsible for all the laundry in the house, I find it hard to commit to what is really dirty and what might be salvageable for one more day of wear.

So, it ends up in this pile of "other" stuff.

But, then I can't really remember what I thought about it - "mostly clean or mostly dirty?"

Therefore, my first new years resolution is to commit to putting the dirty stuff (that extra 3 feet away) into the hamper.

Just don't expect any other type of resolutions about laundry this year.

(Like emptying that hamper - ha!)

Grow Up

These are two words that, at times, I really want to say to my child.

But I'm also afraid of it happening.

This child is smart and hilarious and so unconcerned with what others think. Sometimes (often) it comes off as loud and obnoxious. But, because she doesn't care, she has a freedom I think most people would love to have.

She wears what she wants, cries when she's sad, and laughs really loud at jokes. She knows the answer to everything and will give the shirt off her back to anyone who needs it.

She still believes in Santa fiercely. She told me the other day that she can't believe that no one in her 6th grade class believes in Santa or the Tooth Fairy. "Can you believe I'm the only one? What's wrong with them?"

I love that innocence about her.

At the same time, I get worried because it would be nice for her to understand reality, recognize situations for what they are, and try to fit in.

But even as I write this I think, why do I want that?

I've probably spent too much of my life trying to fit in. Do I really want that for her? Not really.

But, I think that at some point it will happen. She will grow up and then all the hurtful things people say and do (especially in junior high) are going to matter.

I definitely don't want that to happen.

So I guess that I hope she stays just the way she is and everyone continues to love her and accept her for who she is.

We could use a few more grown-ups like her anyway.

Bring It On!

Yesterday I turned 40.

Today, I just am 40.

About 8 months before my daughter turned 4 she started talking about her birthday. She had it all planned and would come up with new ideas all the time. She was so excited about it for the whole 8 months leading up to it.

Well, 8 years ago I heard about some friends who had just celebrated their 40th birthday by having a sleepover and watching Pride and Prejudice. It sounded like so much fun. I wanted to celebrate my 40th the same way and make it fun instead of just being "old".

It didn't happen.

At first I was sad. What was the point of turning 40 if I couldn't make it a big deal?

So, I decided I needed a new focus.

I thought about my bucket list and all the things I still need to accomplish.

Then I figured out how old each of my kids would be when I turned 50.

And I realized, wow that is a lot of life left to happen.

So, now I say: Bring it on!

Knock Knock

First, I'm probably not alone in the blogger world of being "comment needy". (I really try not to be.) Most of the time when I post, it is just for me to get it out of my head and on down on paper.

But, last week due to a post that I mistakenly thought was spam (sorry bro) I put on comment moderation and then forgot to moderate. It was a while before I remembered why I might not be getting comments.

Second, I'm always surprised when someone like my mom says so and so was reading your blog the other day . . . (really?)

It makes me wonder who is reading this stuff?

So, I put on a visitor counter thing and was once again surprised at the numbers. (Maybe its just mostly me checking on the numbers but I don't think I check that much. )

Anyway, all this got me thinking that I should find out who is really reading this blog 'o mine.

Here's the fun part: (if you wouldn't mind) I want to invite anyone who reads this blog to leave a comment [anonymously] describing yourself. You can be as specific as you want or random.

For example, I know I lurk on other people's blogs and never comment because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know me from Adam and that just seems weird. But I would leave a comment anonymously like "found this blog from my best friends neighbors sisters aunts husbands blog" or "like you I'm mother to a cranky newborn"

Get the idea? I think it would be fun and funny.

And I'm totally admitting to my comment neediness on this one!

Thanks for playing.

Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Ever since we have moved I feel like I have been standing still.

And not the good kind of "still".

I keep thinking things like, "once we're done with school then I'll . . ." or "when we have money again then . . . "

I finally realized the other day that we will be in this situation for 3 years. My oldest will be almost 16 when we're done here. I can't just sit around waiting for life to get started again.

Dr. Suess said it the best,

You can get so confused that you'll start in to race . . . headed, I fear,
toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place . . .for people just
waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or
the mail to come, or the rain to go . . .

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a
Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or
Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting. NO! That's not for
you! Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. . .

Does anyone else ever feel like they are just waiting for life to change so they can get started with their real life?

Here is the question I've decided to ask myself from now on. What would I be doing differently if I had (insert wanted item) right now?

You know what I came up with? Not much.

Those things should not change the way I behave or parent.

So I'm done waiting and now I just have to figure out again what it is I'm supposed to be doing or where it is I am supposed to be going.

I really already know, I just have to keep reminding myself.