I am in the midst of a battle.
It seems like every time I try and be a little bit better I end up taking 3 steps back.
It's as if Satan is fighting me hard to not make any good changes in my life.
And these aren't big changes.
These are the regular things that I should be doing anyway.
Saying my prayers, studying the scriptures. Stuff I've been doing forever.
But, sometimes the habit dies for a little bit and I have to get back into it.
And just when I think, "ok, I'm making some good progress here", bam! I'm hit with something that makes life seem hard.
And not even really hard stuff. Just sicknesses, money issues, food not turning out right. (First world problems I know!)
On my mission I was taught that whenever I have a big spiritual experience, I should be prepared for Satan to come right back at me to get me down.
Or that Satan will increase his temptations just before a really big blessing comes.
Now, I'm not tempted by bad things, but time management, (ie, making time to do what is right), or self-worth issues seem to be my temptations.
Here's where the battle comes in.
If I don't do anything, I don't feel great, but its not horrible either.
When I make an effort then Satan hits harder.
There are times that I wonder if its worth the fight.
I'm sure that I could go on with my life, wasting time, overeating, etc. and Satan would just back off.
But then I'm not really progressing or receiving needed blessings by being close to God.
So it's a choice.
Take life easy and never feel fulfilled.
Or fight "like a dragon" to get past this wall that seems to be continually placed before me.