highlights

Mothers of teenage daughters - unite! My oldest came home from school and said, "guess what? my friend's mom took all of her clothes away and is making her pay to get them back." HA!


My magical powers are increasing daily.


Halloween discussion between children:

"maybe I'll be a vampire"
"as long as you're not a sparkly one"

The curse of the jumper: what is it with jumpers making me gain weight?


I drove the "smaller" car [chevy suburban] the other day and hit my head getting in. I felt so little driving it.


Just a few updates and some things that I've meant to blog about but haven't.

(by the way, you have to click on the underline stuff to "get it")

Life is a Battlefield

Slowly she creeps across the bleak landscape. Wary and unsure of her next step. Visions of her partner's battle wound press into her mind. The scar will always be there as a reminder. Some have no problem navigating through the area. And yet, for her, each step is a painful reminder of what once was. There are those who would gladly do the job for the right compensation. But with no resources it is up to her, and her alone. If only. No, those thoughts must not be allowed to take over. She must live in the present and deal with what is before her. Questions will only lead to distractions. Distractions lead to neglect. Neglect leads to, well, to this. Eventually all of this must stop. Bravely she stoops down. Carefully, carefully. She reaches for the nearest object, avoiding the urge to look around too much. Then slowly she stands again. One down, who knows how many more to go.

Anyone feel like cleaning up my living room for me?

White Shirts and Jeans

I wanted a family picture.

One of those cool ones where we all match and are beautiful.

I stayed up nights envisioning it.

I picked a time and place.

I knew I wanted it to happen before the storm came and blew the leaves away.

Finally the "last chance" day arrived.

I still hadn't gotten in touch with the girl who offered the "family picture" at the ward auction.

My husband was really busy with school and didn't think he'd be able to make it home before dark.

But I went forward with my plans anyway.

The kids all had a half-day of school so we decided to pick out pumpkins and go geocaching.

The youngest started throwing up right before we left.

At one of our stops, three of them were stung by bees.

I was not deterred.

We were doing this no matter what.

The boys complained about having to wear their sunday shirts when it wasn't sunday.

The teenager was trying to be different.

We got a hold of our volunteer photographer at 4:30 and set up a 5:45 appointment.

Dad came home a little early from school.

We made it to the park and the wind wasn't blowing,it wasn't freezing yet, and no one had barfed for at least an hour.

We took pictures.

[amid telling kids not to make faces, threatening to take away toys, trying to get everyone looking at the camera at the same time (9 is a lot of people), and bribing kids to smile.]

I've always envied those dentist and carpet cleaner ads and their family pictures.

Now I wonder what they went through to get them taken.

My favorite moment came as we were getting ready and my teenager said:

"it's like we're going to the temple, but in jeans!"

Yes, yes it is.

What a perfect description of life.

We are on a journey that will lead us to the most beautiful place.

We want to go as a family

But it takes a lot of work to get there.

In The Middle

When I run, it's hardest for me the first 10 minutes.
Then it feels like I hit "the zone" and I can just keep going.
Until I see the end.
Then, I always seem to pick up speed.


My pregnancies were kind of the same.
There's a some nausea and excitement at the beginning.
Then it seems like it will just go on forever in the middle.
I love the nesting stage at the end when I finally start getting things done again.


Unfortunately, a similar thing happens in my church callings.
I feel so motivated in the start.
And then it just becomes a "job" where I can get by with doing the bare minimum.
When I finally get back on track and motivated, it usually means I'm going to be getting a new calling soon.


My current life experience, grad school, is a 3 year deal.
The first year is over.
We are in the second, or the middle year.

Last year, everything was new and hard and exciting and tough.
Moving to a new place, making new friends, surviving the dreaded winter, meeting financial obligations.
It was enough to keep me on task.
I made it through.

Only, now there's two years left of this.
Most of the excitement or worry has been dealt with and now it's just the way it is.

And I can't see the finish line yet.

I wish there was some way for me to keep the spark alive through the whole thing and not feel stuck in the middle.

I believe the answer lies in being more grateful.

When I run, that middle part is when I can meditate and work things out.
When I'm pregnant, it's in the middle when I begin to realize what a miracle creation is.
When I serve in the church I learn from watching so many others serve faithfully.


I may not be the one in school, but here are the 3 R's I will be working on this year:


Recognizing answers to prayers.
Remembering blessings that are received.
Relying on the Lord.

The thing about it is, the middle is when all of the growth and strength take place.

Kids Cleaning Day

My kids have regular "chores" everyday (get dressed, brush teeth, pick up your stuff, etc.)

Then they have an "after school job" that has to be done before snack (books, toys, couches, downstairs, junk).

And we rotate through "kitchen jobs" every night (garbage, dishwasher, floor, table, food, dishes, sinks, counter).

But every Tuesday is "Kids Cleaning Day".

I have done this different ways. But, I'm kind of excited about my new plan.

Every kid has to do everything on the first list (the oldest helps the youngest).

1. STRAIGHTEN

bed (made mom's way and all toys and books off)
closet (all clothes hung up nicely, no junk on floor)
clothes drawers (they can shove their laundry in everyday except once a week it has to be straightened)
top of dresser (junk collection spot - they have to put it in their treasure box, school drawer, or garbage)
shoes (make sure all shoes are lined up nicely with matches)

After their straightening jobs are done they get to start picking out of the jar.

There are 5 jobs in each category for my 5 school-aged kids.

Each category has its own color so I can just say, go pick a blue one, etc.

2. DUST (blue)
boys room, girls room, living room, playroom, electronics

3. VACUUM (orange)
boys room, girls room, living room, playroom, stairs

4. CLEAN (yellow)
bathroom sinks, toilets, bathroom floor, mirrors, kitchen chairs

5. ORGANIZE (purple)
coloring stuff, games, books, hair stuff, toys

If they happen to pick one that they did last week, they can choose again if they want to and there are any others left. (It gives them motivation to not be the last to pick.)

I like the fact that they might have to clean their brother or sister's room. (So far no arguments there.)

This is a shorter version than what we used to do, so there are some things that are left out (under beds, doorknobs, walls, etc.)

I put those on an "extra" list so when Dad says, "ask mom what job you can do" or mom says, "that just earned you an extra job mister!", well . . . you know the drill.

I'm pretty sure I'll have to come up with something new to keep their interest next year, but so far so good.


sheesh, I guess my kids have to clean a lot!


strike that and reverse


sheesh, I have a lot of kids to clean!

Food Critics

In our home, we are constantly trying new recipes.

And in our quest for the perfect food, we are always trying to improve upon each dish.

Thus, we end up discussing what to do differently next time.

Our children have picked up on this.

Now it doesn't seem like such a bad thing.

Of course we want to improve their culinary tastes.

But, it gets awkward at times.

"This meat is a little bit dry."

"Is this what it's supposed to taste like?"

"What exactly is in here?"

"I think this needs more salt."

"You may have cooked this a little too long."

"Dad makes this stuff way better."

Totally normal comments in our "food critic" house.

But not exactly what you like to hear when eating with others.

Especially when the cooking was not done by us.


I wonder why we don't get many dinner invitations.

Sorry to Offend

Confession time.

I treat my clothes as if they have feelings.

I feel bad for certain items if I haven't worn them in a while.

It doesn't matter if I don't really like them or they don't look good.

I don't want to hurt their feelings.

I've tried the "turn the hangers all the same way" method of getting rid of clothes.

(you know at the end of 6 months or a year the hangers that haven't been turned around means you haven't worn them and you should get rid of them.)

Well, it just brings to my attention even more the ones that I should feel sorry for.

It's like getting picked last for a team.

Now, I know this is completely insane.

And, I do get rid of clothes after I keep wearing them and still can't stand them.

I just say to myself (and the clothes):

"I'm sorry but this relationship is just not good for either of us."

"It's not you, it's me."

"I'm sure you can find someone else that will be just right for you."



Am I the only one?

Some Things Never Change

Spending the majority of the summer where I grew up, I had more than ample opportunity to walk down memory lane. As I did, I realized that some things never change (sort of):


Living with my parents.
I cooked a lot more; and cleaned a lot more than I ever did as a kid.

Giggling with a girlfriend from girls camp.
We’re both moms now with our own daughters going to girls camp.

Looking at myself in the same mirror where I would primp for stake dances.
I was changing a diaper and wasn’t as worried about my hair, make-up or the last dance.

Driving a van on the freeway with my dad in the passenger seat holding his arm rest with a death grip.
It didn't make me nervous; it just made me laugh.

Running up the hill behind my school to the field hockey field.
I was carrying a baby, racing my kids, and could barely make it up once.

Crossing 5 lanes of traffic to get to a left exit in less than 1 mile going 55 mph.
There’s an exit on the right hand side now for (wimps) those who don’t like to take risks.

Driving to my high school in a van with a bunch of kids.
I wasn’t listening to The Cars or New Edition. And they were my kids so there was no way they thought I was cool.

Going downtown to the monuments and museums.
I wasn’t on a school field trip so I didn’t have my soda can wrapped in tin foil. And I actually tried to understand the history and importance of what I was seeing.

Riding a crowded metro train.
I wasn’t an obnoxious kid that didn’t see the commuters roll their eyes.I was a mom that people would give up their seats for. (I may have seen some eyes roll as they tried counting the number of kids I had with me.)

Getting lost in Anacostia on the way home from National Airport.
I wasn't nervous. Mostly because I was with my husband and it was just nice to be alone for a while after not seeing him for 6 weeks.


It was a fabulous summer. I'm pretty sure I have the coolest parents ever.

It's nice that some things never change.

And it's nice to be with people you love.

You know, the ones who make all the good changes possible.

My Drug of Choice

No, this is not about which drug is the best to give a child while travelling. (I haven't found one that works that great for us yet. )

It's about what I've discovered about my own brain chemistry and what works best for it.

When I start getting overwhelmed and things seem on the far side of crazy . . .
I have to get organized.

It's not just a good thing for me. It is like a drug.

My brain can't function without a certain type of organization/drug, to guide it. And then once I have this "drug" in me I am free to be more spontaneous and fun about life.

I have actually used prescription medication before. It was a necessity after baby #6.

I was never able to get to the point where I was able to plan or even think about organizing my life without breaking down into tears.

The real drug allowed me to survive.

While I was on this medication I didn't have to plan things and life went merrily along. But, once I felt ready to organize and plan my life, I knew it was time to try it on my own again.

So, I am done apologizing for having to "get organized". No more thinking that I am a freak when I tell people that I have to get my mind wrapped around things before I can make certain decisions.

I now accept that this is just the drug I need to help me function to my fullest potential.

Here's an example of what I have organized in my brain for this summer.

Activities/Menu
Sunday - day of rest/church; dinner with family
Monday - school/library day; chicken
Tuesday - field trip day; grandma
Wednesday - cleaning day; kid's choice
Thursday - shopping/computer time day; sandwiches/leftovers
Friday - swimming/craft day; favorites
Saturday - field trip day; crockpot

Have I followed this exactly? Nope, not even once.

But its like having a palette of colors to choose from. I can mix and match according to my needs.

Disclaimer: It does take me at least a whole day to come up with "the plan".

But then I can relax and let the summer happen in a stress free manner. I love that the kids aren't constantly bugging me about going to the pool, or getting on the computer. And I know certain things will get done that might tend to get lost in the whirl of summer. Like cleaning, school and field trips that I really want to do.

Anyway, if anyone asks for my designer drug. This is it.

Trekkin' It

So, we begin today (almost) on our epic summer adventure.

The house we are renting is only a 10 month contract. Rather than finding a new place we decided to come back here (it's a great place). So for two months we will be homeless (not really, I just like the shock value of those words).

Actually, my saintly parents have invited us to stay with them in Virginia. But, before we make it back there we have to hang around Utah for girls camp and cub scout camp. (Luckily all 3 were in the same week.)

Thus begins our true homelessness (again, with the shock).

I am constantly amazed at the generosity of people who are willing to open their homes to a family as large as ours. I feel truly grateful. (I have such a great family, close and extended.)

In the meantime, the whole family (all 9 of us) will be traveling around in our 9-passenger suburban.

It will be a tight squeeze. (Ha, understatement of the year!)

Especially with all "the stuff" we have to take.

I feel a bit like the handcart pioneers. I have given my children guidelines on what they are allowed to take:

6 outfits (incl. church clothes)
1 swimsuit
1 book
1 toy/stuffed animal
1 pillow
1 blanket

At least we don't have to pull it across country, hopefully. (insert childhood memories here of road-trips and over-heating radiators, hanging out on the side of the road, etc.)

I have grand visions of how joyful this "vacation" will be.

Eating in the car.

Reading scriptures, in the car.

Sleeping in the car.

Visiting historic sites, in the car.

Listening to books on tape, in the car.

Singing obnoxious songs, in the car.

Creating inside family jokes, in the car.

Listening to babies scream, in the car.

Sibling rivalry, in the car.

Dad turning around, in the car.

In the car, in the car.


OK, my vision is deteriorating quickly. aaaahhhhhh!

It will be fun, it will be fun, it will be fun.

And so, off we go. Bon Voyage. Auf Weidershen. TTFN.

I might make it back in one piece (but it probably won't be my brain).

Thank You

I've been trying out some new parenting skills I've learned. The book I've been reading is, "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Glen Latham.

The idea is that the behaviors you pay the most attention to are the ones that will increase.

So, if I spend all my time yelling at my kids for something they're doing wrong then they actually will continue to do it more. So instead, I've been looking for the positive things to focus on.

This is so hard for me.

Not because my kids aren't doing good things. It's just that I'm such a coach and I want to help them improve. I want to point out what they're doing wrong so they can get better.

Anyway, I've been trying to be more positive. There's been a lot of:

"Thank you for chewing your food quietly."
"Thank you for putting your plate in the dishwasher without being asked."
"Thank you for not slamming that door when you wanted to."
"Thank you for . . ."

It's driving some of my kids (mostly 'A') crazy. "So are you going to be one of those moms that just says nice things all the time?" That was seriously one of her questions. Of course, now she says, "Remember, you're supposed to be positive!"

Well, this all felt very manipulative to me at first. But then I realized it really is just a better environment I'm trying to create.

Yes, I want my kids to behave, but it's more important that they feel loved and appreciated (by the way, a coach would never say that).

So how has it been going?

Things are better. I don't always stick to the game plan, but I hear the words thank you a lot more. And not just from me; from my kids, too. They seem to get along a bit better as well.

But, the crowning moment came when my husband asked our son ('D') to clean up something. The response?

"Thanks for telling me what to clean up Dad."

Behind

I am really behind in the whole scrapbooking thing.

I am horrible about taking pictures of things (I totally rely on my sister).

I'm even worse about organizing them (in some way other than in whatever folder they happen to download to on the computer).

Are my children are missing out?

When I do remember to take pictures I'm always disappointed because I end up viewing the important event from behind a little screen.

It bums me out to see these events second-hand.

I feel like I'm missing out.


- - - pause for light-bulb moment - - -

(self-talk q:) what is the purpose of recording these events?
(self-talk a:) I suppose its for those participating to have some reminder.


Could this be one of those sacrifices that we as parents, should make for our children? (I'm so not good at this whole sacrifice thing; isn't it all about me?)

I may miss out on some of the present excitement, but then that memory is carried on for my child and others.

Is that the deal?

Help me out here. Because I feel like I'm missing out either way.

(Maybe if I did it more often I could be confident of holding the camera just right and not have to look through it to get the picture?)

Fantasy

Just because I'm weird . . .

After shampooing and cleaning the hair off my fingers (tmi), I found a really white one.

The first thought that came to my mind was,


"I found a unicorn hair!"


I think I might need to expand my reading genre.

Real Women

I am blessed to have amazing women in my life. I like to call them real women.

When I am around a real woman I . . .

. . . know who I am.

. . . can eat what I want without wondering if they think I'm a pig.

. . . can pick up conversations from forever ago without the small talk.

. . . can talk about potty-training and gospel topics in the same breath.

. . . am not embarrassed to cry.

. . . laugh a lot.


To me a real woman is someone who . . .

. . . knows who they are.

. . . has goals that they are always working towards.

. . . makes others feel good without putting themselves down.

. . . loves being a mother and desires it more than anything.

. . . will drop anything just to visit with a friend even for a short time.

. . . is willing to admit faults and weaknesses without wallowing in self-pity.

. . . laughs heartily.




. . . bless my life.

Winner

Wow - I won something!

Kind of funny considering what our family motto used to be.

My friend has this great blog with lots of cool stuff and funny stuff and just stuff that reminds me how great she is. She is my blogging guru who I call when I have questions on how to do cool stuff to my blog (Its not her fault that I don't).

Anyway, she had a giveaway and I dutifully left a comment. And I won this.

It was such a great thing to happen because I've been feeling a little down (family: please note that I know this is a normal valley in the journey of life and really everything is ok).

It just made me smile to know that I won at something. Just a little spark but enough to make things better.

And even though I'm very excited for the prize, it's actually the winning part that I'm most excited about.

So, I've decided that I want to be a winner at something every day. Something random.

But what can moms win?

Making it through the day without yelling is an accomplishment but doesn't really feel like winning.

I know, I'll come up with some contest with my kids. Like let them choose a winning word and if I happen to say it that day then I win!

Ok, that could get ugly.

But I like winning; so I'm open for suggestions.

The Island

The place where I live is known as "the Island". It is divided from the other parts of town by two bodies of water (kind of).

This weekend we made a trip back to our old civilization. We drove about 2 hours to go see family and eat and watch conference.

Getting ready for the visit felt weird.

You know how on reality shows (not that I have ever watched them) there is a point where the contestants go home for a short visit or get letters to remind them of how they were before the game.

That's what it felt like to me.

Like living here is a type of reality show and I just have to make it through 3 years and then I win.

But isn't that what life is?

We are given a short time in our life to make what we can of it.

Sometimes we are given reminders of "home". It can either discourage us or help us stay motivated to complete the challenge.

The goal is to not lose focus but to keep on striving.

The good thing about this game though is that everyone can win.

In fact, the real winners are those who help others win along their way, too.

So really, it's not just a three year contest, but an everyday one.

I'm planning on winning.

Anyone want to form an alliance with me?

Changes

There are times when you make changes occur that are very noticeable. Like when a child is done with diapers. You realize it immediately. It is a good change and you rejoice.

There are times when you are forced to change and it takes a while to adapt to it. Like daylight savings time. It took me a while to get used to it, but there came a day when I actually felt my body adjust.

Then there are changes that are so subtle that you're not even sure when they happened.

Last weekend my two oldest wanted to go see their school play with another friend. We dropped them off and had them call us when they were ready to be picked up.

When did I become a mom of kids old enough to do that? When did I stop being that overprotective mom who has to be a part of their lives at all times?

It is a change that I welcome and yet, did not recognize.

It is a change that is good for all involved.

I sometimes fear the future and all the changes that will come. I hope that all changes are as smooth as this one.

And I hope that I can recognize and rejoice in them as they come.

MMD

I have finally found the name of what is wrong with me. (well at least one of the things)

It is called Material Management Disorder.

I know that everything is supposed to have a place and be there, but it just doesn't come naturally to me. There's just too much stuff.

I will hold something in my hand and think, I should put this in a file, but then the disease takes over and I just put it down for later. (I'm totally like Scarlett.)

Or I file too many things with no discrimination of what really should be saved.

Just the other day I created a new file for my coupons. And as I put it in my gigantic file cabinet I had this thought, "yeah, I'm never going to find that folder again." (It took 2 weeks of searching by the way.)

Anyone else feel like they have this?

Are there really people out there that don't have this?

At least now that I know my problem has a name I can face it head on and start curing it.

So c'mon women of MMD - let's unite!




Yeah, who am I kidding - I'm pretty sure it's terminal.

Parenting Books

This is for a friend who asked about different parenting books that I have read. Since I’ve been having a difficult time coming up with my next post, here’s the stone for those two birds.

First of all there are so many books out there. And they all kind of say different things; especially, when it comes to discipline.

I've found I just have to go with my gut. I guess most would call it mother's instinct.

So, as I read the books, I just disregard things that I don't really feel will work in my situation.

And I try hard not to have guilt about not doing everything they say I should be doing.

Here's a list of some books that I can remember and what I got out of them.

The first parenting book I ever read was by John Rosemond called "The Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children". The main thing from this book was that the husband/wife relationship comes before the children; children should not be entertained all the time; kids need more vitamin N (no); and the purpose of parenting is to teach children to become responsible adults.

He’s a little heavy on the discipline side but the "5 Love Languages" was good for balancing out the other side.

I really like "Parenting Ephraim's Child". It is from an LDS perspective and totally went with my idea that these strong-willed kids are here for a reason and we just have to figure out how to direct them; good discipline ideas, too.

"The Mom's Club Diaries" is a fun one to read so you know you're not alone in the chaos.

And "Letters" by Marjorie Peay Hinckley is not really a parenting book, but so good to help you know that everyone is normal.

I know I read "How to Behave So Your Children Will Too", though now I really only remember the title.

For older kids I really liked Steven Covey’s "7 Habits of Highly Effective Families".

Anyway, I hope these help. And anyone else with good book ideas, please comment.
Good luck with your munchkins. I think you are an awesome mom.

Nugget

This is a great saying that I just read the other day:

Make the problem the enemy; not you or your child.

Discovery Week

I learned a new equation this week.

Perfectionism + Competitiveness = Hopelessness/Anger

I had to deal with an issue with a child this week. I found some good info here and here.

It was good for me to read this stuff instead of flying off the handle like I wanted to. And I discovered some new insights into my child.

Another thing I learned or discovered (this time about myself): I am a coach.

Like, no duh, right? I love coaching.

But unfortunately, I have a coach voice and attitude.

Stuff like: "c'mon, you can do better than that!" or "what is the problem here?"

Can you hear it?

It sounds great outside on a field or on a court. But inside my home I realize that I need to have a meeker approach to teaching.

I'm always open for learning new things. Especially when it helps me be a better mom.

Dancing With My Star

I have this great memory from my childhood.

It's dancing with my Dad.

We had a daddy-daughter dance once and learned "The Minuet".

I can still remember some of the steps.

So, when I was put in charge of the activity for the girls (8-11yrs) at church, I thought of this.

It was a low key night. We just had punch and cookies.

Most of the dads who came with their daughters were very reluctant about dancing (including my own daughter's father) .

The girls, on the other hand, seemed to be beaming because they had their dads to themselves (I remember that feeling).

Anyway, I taught them the waltz. Just the basic box step. I also taught the Electric Slide; just to the girls (kind of to give the dad's a break). And then we ended with a final waltz to Journey's Open Arms.

It was fun, but I think my favorite part was listening to the girls giggle. They had so much fun.

I'm not sure if any memories were made for these girls, but it was nice for me to relive mine.

I love my Dad.

Free Throw

My brother-in-law recently requested, from the family mailing group, ideas on weight loss.

He says he doesn't need it now but he wants some ideas for later on when us "older ones" don't care as much or forget stuff.

Yeah, he's a gem.

Anyway, this was my response and I thought I'd just throw it out here. I guess I did go to college for something.

My Top 5 Healthy Eating Ideas

1. Eat smaller portions more often. (5-6 times a day)
2. Drink a glass of water before or after eating.
3. Eat the right kind of food. (you know what that is)
4. Don't do anything else while you're eating (no driving, watching, reading, etc.). Just focus on the food and tasting/savoring it.
5. Add more movement to your day.

For real weight loss: Keep a food journal (write down what/when you eat and why you're eating).

But, everyone knows this stuff, right? (It doesn't mean we do it.)

The Enemy

It is the enemy of all.

Especially mothers.

It moves too fast and I don't have enough of it.

And yet, I can't wait. To move to the next stage.

I need more.

There's too much until . . .

I feel like I'm serving it.

It changes everything.

Cracked

I crack myself up.

I actually say that a lot.

Here are the usual responses in my home:

"Mom, you're weird."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" (really loud and obnoxious)

"Wait, what . . . oh I get it."

"Huh?"

"heeheehaa (not really sure why I'm laughing, but I don't want to miss out)"

"Nice one."

Sometimes I can keep laughing and smiling about something for a long time. Whether it's a show I watched (Community anyone?), something my child said, something I read or myself. For instance:

I built a snowman with my 2 year old yesterday in our driveway.
It was her first one and it was little and cute.
As the sun warmed up the head fell off.
Then I had to go run an errand.
With the car. (Remember where we built the snowman?)
Well, I drove over it.

Twice.

It felt good.

And I'm still laughing about it now. I know, I crack myself up.

Aaahhhh, shoot. (wipe tears)

Sometimes I think that this humor of mine is the only thing that is really holding me together.

Imagine

I'm a visual type of person. I love creating images that I can have in my mind to keep me going.

My husband starts school again today. I have had him home for a little over a month. And I've totally been relying on him for everything.

It's been fabulous.

But, now I'm nervous.

I've got to pick up the slack that I've let fall onto him. Now it's all on me. And I know I can't do it by myself. I can only make it through if I have someone else helping me. (I'm not afraid to admit this weakness.) And the only person I have to rely on is the Lord.

So here's the image:

I'm pulling a super heavy handcart.

It's overloaded and I'm going up hill.

It's hard.

But then I look over and I'm not pulling alone.

Christ is pulling with me and smiling.

And I know we can do this together.